Saturday, May 29, 2010

Missing link.....!!

Life is being different and not so brilliant lately… I thought I’ll give myself some more time to realize what’s going missing and why I am lacking that spark inside…. Everyday end up with a feeling of restlessness and dissatisfaction…. Leaving behind regret that one more day is wasted in running in a “rat race”…..

People might be happy living such life…. But I am not nor I wanna get used to it…. I can’t even abuse here huh… I have not seen such people in my life…. Hell man! So mean…. Forget about friendship they don’t even know the meaning of being human….. Their every act… every step is selfish….. This is not my world and I am dead sure! I know myself I can do much better things in life… I gave myself time and now I have realized….

I was so much happy being a student…. Dunno why I am here….. This is not something I wanted….. I can feel the suffocation inside… From past 3 days when I leave my office for home I feel like crying… I carry so much of hurt inside.... Something badly wounded.... As if my soul is tapped in a prison crying and craving for freedom…. I feel like am in a world of machines where everybody is just doing programmed things without any sense of emotion…. May be I am not liking anything nor I can cope up with it… that’s why its making me so negative….. I am workaholic….. I can do well in life… dunno why I am wasting myself….. the worst part is…. Hell yaar! I don’t wanna mention here…. Huh…. My blog is now more towards negativity…. Spiderman I & II are over its time for Spiderman III now…. Darkness all over my mind…. Driving me crazy…

I am angry with you God! Believe me I never expected this from you… If you are punishing me for my sins then I guess you should stop now its already too much!

Anyhow I cant stop loving you... And I am thankful for good things you gave me.... My people.... My family and friends..... And of course many other things too but please help me out.... You know I am in trouble.... I am waiting for your reply God..... Love ya...

7 comments:

Niraj said...

At times we just see the open thread but not the pattern he is carving...At times we go through up and down ..he test our patience...but eventually u will understand u r chosen one who knows what you want to do coz other are doing coz they have to do...just leave on him...all the best

Regards
Niraj
masallalemonade.blogspot.com

Sat_hi_sh said...

The harsh realities of office politics ,dunno wat god would say but god gives you choices na :)

Hey y arent you in my blog these days ????

Randeep said...

Fight back honey. U dont hv to take all those hurt.

NEHA said...

Deepika u r a fighter... things lik dis n worse dan dis wud cme n go in lyf...... i knw its tym f hardships, bt take ur tym, settle down wid urself fr sme tym n fight bak den........ ultimately nly u can change urself n d things arnd u, nly u cn help urself....... n god helps dose, who help demselves....... jst fight bak, things wud b fine m sure

The Aspirant said...

first, welcome to d real world gal....dat seems to gllomy and shining from outside but its all dark and darker as you enter into it....

and i really think : can i ever have such patience and faith in god??? and answer is a big NO....
a salute to u for it.....

Merlin said...

I cant begin to tell you just how much of this feeling I had some time back, and then things changed! I say this often, after every trough there is a crest. Really appreciate the fact that you keep your positivity alive when you talk to God, I think that its a very important thing. And I cant help but be amused about how you can compare your life with Spiderman sequels... brilliant! I think you will survive, and come out a winner!

pRasad said...

I can relate to this post.. Even I had gone through this experience in my first job..

Everyone is advising you to fight ..But I know how much mental stress you must be going through. If it's beyond what you can take, just leave the job ..take rest of few days & start searching for other job..probably in the field you keep interest in.

The after effects of this mental stress are long term..So..take decision carefully & remember this is not the only job in the world. What's the use of doing job if you are not happy & satisfied?

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