Sunday, November 5, 2017

In my Head!


Strange things are happening!

I finished my 3rd book this morning. 

Today, I got up at 6am, without any effort. Prepared my coffee and started reading. In between, prepared my breakfast, ate and continued with my book.

Weird thing is, every time I pick a book it somehow answers the question I have in the back of my mind or something I am thinking about at that very moment. Or may be we all know what we need to know, sometimes we need an external influence to realise what's inside our mind.

Like, few days back, before I thought of going back to my resolution of reading, I strongly felt I need a psychiatrist. I was unable to cope up with my head and I was strongly in need of help. At least that's what I felt. For me it's very difficult to talk to people, sometimes I hate being an introvert. And now a days, every Tom Dick and Harry is writing articles about mental health and blah blah. 

One strong reason was my messed up state of mind and other one was coming across these stupid posts on social media every now and then. 

Anyhow, in my opinion, restricting social media usage is somewhat peaceful!

Last Sunday evening, I saw a book store and randomly picked these books and decided to get back to reading. I casually decided to begin with "Veronica Decides to Die" by Paulo Coelho.

To my surprise, that book one by one when talked about madness, I found my answers for which I was seeking help and was feeling restless. I realized I no more need a psychiatrist and it's okay to be in a state where I am right now. Not everyone can feel with the same intensity.

The book left me wondering what just happened and I somehow ended up liking it, for how it answered my random questions.

The similar thing happened after finishing "The Alchemist" by Paulo Coelho too, it answered questions which were not even there in the first place. As if its some kind of Magic!

I was surprised for what it had done to my head.

When the book (Veronica..) was over, I was lost in my thoughts and I wished I could live a peaceful life in a small town and wrote on my blog about my craving for that slow life.

Right after Veronica.... I picked "The Choice" by Nicholas Spark.

Again, a wonderful thing happened, the story somehow left me feeling different. It was absolutely everything I would love to live. Slow peaceful adventurous life! As if someone gave beautiful words to my imagination. Except for the sadness in later part of the book I loved it thoroughly. It left me feeling happy.

In between all this, I was thinking, now a days I remember all my dreams and lately I have experienced similar dream twice! And somehow these dreams are leaving a strange impact on me. The end meaning is always similar!

Anyway, Friday night, I started reading my 3rd book which was "Sputnik Sweetheart" by Haruki Murakami. I found it dark and deep, not particularly a happy book to read. It was different experience though. Living through those dark thoughts and gloomy emotions!

I don't know why my brain is shouting out so loud. I have just finished Sputnik..., and I am still under it's effect. I might take few days to come out of it. Though I'll start my 4th one tonight. Hopefully!

This Sunday is going to be a busy one, winter is here and I have to look for my woolens, wash my summer wear and pack them back.. and few more chores to catch up with.

Let's see how it will turn out to be.

I don't really know what I just jotted down, cleared my head though. 

Hope to be here soon. 

Dear God, thanks for everything.