Have you ever seen a dream in which you miserably want something and you are moving away from it… or a dream in which a person you love going away from you…?? I saw a dream last night in which I saw a similar thing and in the morning I was in dilemma…. Now, without any further description I would like to discuss so many things happened in past few days…. ;-) My career related dilemmas, my birthday, my close friend’s personal issues, my cousin’s & friend’s wedding’s preparation, parties…. And lot more… In between, I have also organized and attended a photography event which was an amazing experience… :-) :-) Life randomly changed quite a bit in past sometime…. Some realizations… learnings…. And so many things… I guess I am running short of words…. Unexpected as always….. Few things never planned happened.. Few faces never imagined seen… few moments never thought cherished…. I never thought I’ll start liking my job… :P…. No.. seriously… I guess I have started liking my job… I simply thought of leaving it at one point of time & even resigned… Of course attachment is something always happens whether you want it or not… I was so attached to my office even after my internship where I spent just 3 months & here it’s now more than 8 months…… Or may be it’s just the magic of winters…. I fall in love with everything around when its winters :D… :D I am scared…. Because I know I can’t love this work & honestly at times I hate it with the same intensity.… this is not my future & destiny….. I have my future plans & they are different…. But somehow I know till the time I am here… I'll do it with all my interest & love…. ;-) Now, not going into the details of my love for my job & career… There is one more thing I wanted to share but then I guess it’s too early to disclose anything….. Anyhow, that’s also something good *wink wink* One more interesting thing happened recently… I got a chance to go inside the parliament house & meet some big people…. I must say… It was an amazing experience… I loved the place…. So calm & serene… Just mind blowing…. & people there were damn good…. Too welcoming…. Too good… I spend around 6 hours there in 2 days…. And I met around 8 people individually and spent quality time with each of them… It was an experience that influenced me….. And I know it’ll certainly help me… You know I never share anything just like that…. ;-) I am now not in a mood to arrange the words I just jotted down… I guess it was more like writing a diary… I guess I am falling in love with everything around me…. I guess I am in love…. In love with me…. My life… Winters…! I am blushing ;-) :-)) Love you God…. Thanks for everything…. Muaah.. :D
I am sharing a poem I recieved in an e-mail.. I am posting it here because its something I can relate with.... Yes, Life is being different now..... And it somehow gives an idea of why its being different... Although there are other factors as well.... But, this one touched me... I loved this piece of writing and would love to share....
"Thinking hard about life How it changed from a maverick college life to strict professional life…...
How tiny pocket money changed to huge monthly paychecks but then why it gives less happiness….
How a few local denim jeans changed to new branded wardrobe but then why there are less accasions to use them
How a single plate of samosa changed to a full Pizza or burger But then why there is less hunger…..
Here I am sitting in my office at night…
Thinking hard about life How it changed…..
How a bike always in reserve changed to a car always on but then why there are less places to go on……
How a small coffee shop changed to cafe coffee day but then why it feels like shop is far away…..
How a limited prepaid card changed to postpaid package but then why there are less calls & more messages……
Here I am sitting in my office at night…
Thinking hard about life How it changed…..
How a general class journey changed to Flight journey But then why there are less vacations for enjoyment….
How an old assembled desktop changed to new branded laptop but then why there is less time to put it on……….
And last But the Most Important…..
How a small bunch of friends changed to colleageus But then why we always feel lonely & miss those college friends.….
Here I am sitting in my office at night…
Thinking hard about life How it changed…..
How it changed……."
Is it known as being successful??
Thanks Vinee for sending me this beautiful poem..
“I was born as a human…. I wanna die as a human…. “Yesterday on 15th August I completed 6 months in my current job… And today I took a day off from work.. I need to analyze…. What I have learnt…. What has happened in these 6 months…. My decisions…. My experience…. Level of satisfaction….. After devoting six months at least I deserve to understand what all is happening…. What can be my future….. And How I can shape my coming life in a better way…Our first job not necessary makes us realize what we really wanna do in future…. But it does make us realize what we don’t wanna do in coming time….. In the morning I was not feeling very good…. I decided to stay back and give myself a day to rethink on what I am doing…. So here I am starting my day with something I really love to do….. BLOGGING!Let me start with the analysis…. Similar to SWOT, I’ll do PNWW of my job….. i.e., Positive-Negative-Why should I continue-Why I shouldn’t… And I’ll try to analyze the positive aspects of my work….. Negative ones…. What I am learning today and what are the opportunities here for me in coming time….. Positive-
- I am improving my driving skills since I drive for 5-6 hours daily
- I am developing patience by handling all sort of clients
- I am learning how to be a machine and give constant numbers daily… and faults are not acceptable :P
- I am learning how tough life can be even after trying so hard to make it good and comfortable by dedicating all your life studying and spending hard earned money of your parents….
- I have met altogether a different set of people who are well adjusted in such scenario from past 4-5 years….. May be the time when they joined the organization conditions were not that bad… And it’s really interesting to study them… I call them “A machine with a brain”….
- I have realized how badly I loved my internship and my subject ‘Anthropology’….
- I am learning the role of HR as well by analyzing what is required on their part and what they are doing… ( I have done a SWOT analysis n them as well )
- I am learning a lot in every sense by observing a very different side of humans….
- Although being very honest, here I have met few real good people whom I admire a lot…. In terms of their PR skills, perfection in communication, dedication, diplomacy, team management skills…. It’s truly worth appreciating.
- I wanna be an entrepreneur and these learnings are teaching me what not to do in my own business.
Negatives-
- Ummm…. Aaa…. Hmmm….. I guess every negative thing is also learning….. So that ways I can say…. It’s good for me as I am learning from it…. So more or less it’s again positive! No regrets honestly! :DWhy should I continue?
- To learn more about this different class of people
- To become a thick skinned human ( I can’t be a machine & thats for sure)
- To gain work experience (although there is no point in gaining something you can’t use)
- To earn money unless I get a job I really wanna do.(One reason of not switching my job is I don’t wanna go in another similar kinda job which will again give me dissatisfaction and frustration.)
Why I shouldn’t continue?
- No time for myself, family & friends
- No time for gym & blog, no weekends
- No personal satisfaction
- No personal growth
- No dignity… huhAlthough whatever I earn I spend on my installments and my car :P…. So anyhow I am only able to pay my installments of education loan from my salary and nothing else… :PI still remember the day when I gave my interview for the job… I was so excited….. So positive and full of enthusiasm and I was pretty sure I’ll do it for at least 2 years….. Learning is a gradual process….. And then I’ll start with my business….. And now how things have changed….. I really wish I could do something good for the company… I always treated it as my own.. but it never treated employees as its own…. Anyhow you can’t change the world….I just want myself back….. As someone told me I should always smile….. As our smile is reason for many others to smile….. :DAnd I believe one should never give up…. No matter how difficult the situation may be…… tough times reveal the real you….. And if things are not the way you want them to be…. It’s time to fight back! I guess zyada ho gaya…. He he he…. But I am feeling happy…… :DLove you God….. I know you are there for me! Mwuaah :)))
