Monday, August 16, 2010

Self Analysis

“I was born as a human…. I wanna die as a human…. “
Yesterday on 15th August I completed 6 months in my current job… And today I took a day off from work.. I need to analyze…. What I have learnt…. What has happened in these 6 months…. My decisions…. My experience…. Level of satisfaction….. After devoting six months at least I deserve to understand what all is happening…. What can be my future….. And How I can shape my coming life in a better way…

Our first job not necessary makes us realize what we really wanna do in future…. But it does make us realize what we don’t wanna do in coming time…..

In the morning I was not feeling very good…. I decided to stay back and give myself a day to rethink on what I am doing…. So here I am starting my day with something I really love to do….. BLOGGING!

Let me start with the analysis…. Similar to SWOT, I’ll do PNWW of my job….. i.e., Positive-Negative-Why should I continue-Why I shouldn’t… And I’ll try to analyze the positive aspects of my work….. Negative ones…. What I am learning today and what are the opportunities here for me in coming time…..

- I am improving my driving skills since I drive for 5-6 hours daily
- I am developing patience by handling all sort of clients
- I am learning how to be a machine and give constant numbers daily… and faults are not acceptable :P
- I am learning how tough life can be even after trying so hard to make it good and comfortable by dedicating all your life studying and spending hard earned money of your parents….
- I have met altogether a different set of people who are well adjusted in such scenario from past 4-5 years….. May be the time when they joined the organization conditions were not that bad… And it’s really interesting to study them… I call them “A machine with a brain”….
- I have realized how badly I loved my internship and my subject ‘Anthropology’….
- I am learning the role of HR as well by analyzing what is required on their part and what they are doing… ( I have done a SWOT analysis n them as well )
- I am learning a lot in every sense by observing a very different side of humans….
- Although being very honest, here I have met few real good people whom I admire a lot…. In terms of their PR skills, perfection in communication, dedication, diplomacy, team management skills…. It’s truly worth appreciating.
- I wanna be an entrepreneur and these learnings are teaching me what not to do in my own business.

- Ummm…. Aaa…. Hmmm….. I guess every negative thing is also learning….. So that ways I can say…. It’s good for me as I am learning from it…. So more or less it’s again positive! No regrets honestly! :D

Why should I continue?
- To learn more about this different class of people
- To become a thick skinned human ( I can’t be a machine & thats for sure)
- To gain work experience (although there is no point in gaining something you can’t use)
- To earn money unless I get a job I really wanna do.(One reason of not switching my job is I don’t wanna go in another similar kinda job which will again give me dissatisfaction and frustration.)

Why I shouldn’t continue?
- No time for myself, family & friends
- No time for gym & blog, no weekends
- No personal satisfaction
- No personal growth
- No dignity… huh

Although whatever I earn I spend on my installments and my car :P…. So anyhow I am only able to pay my installments of education loan from my salary and nothing else… :P

I still remember the day when I gave my interview for the job… I was so excited….. So positive and full of enthusiasm and I was pretty sure I’ll do it for at least 2 years….. Learning is a gradual process….. And then I’ll start with my business….. And now how things have changed….. I really wish I could do something good for the company… I always treated it as my own.. but it never treated employees as its own…. Anyhow you can’t change the world….

I just want myself back….. As someone told me I should always smile….. As our smile is reason for many others to smile….. :D

And I believe one should never give up…. No matter how difficult the situation may be…… tough times reveal the real you….. And if things are not the way you want them to be…. It’s time to fight back!

I guess zyada ho gaya…. He he he…. But I am feeling happy…… :D

Love you God….. I know you are there for me! Mwuaah :)))
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