Devil's year!

2020 was indeed a Devil's year. My year!

I know, I know it's not over as yet, but, it was a strangely comforting year for me, I know the case with most of the world is different.

I am so much in love with the whole situation of work from home, chilling and working at peace. I know the work hours are crazy but that's alright. I love keeping my devil mind busy with work or else it starts driving me mad.

The only thing I am badly missing this year is my workout, and have gained a lot of weight which I know will take time to go off, but I am somehow at peace. Other times I am on fire. :P

The whole year was kind of okay.... but, as I have a history with Decembers, my demons are hyper-active once again and I am finding it really hard to cope up with my own self. I think I would blame it on winters. I feel everything with a deeper intensity when the weather is cold. I am meant to be living in hot climates to avoid emotions. :P

Actually, it's not even proper winters as yet in Delhi, but this morning I could hear some loud clouds and they are giving me hopes for colder days ahead, that says messier mind!

I think I should read more on the correlation between mind and winters, at least for me it's something serious. Or maybe it's just full moon effect! 

Oh! and it's raining cats and dogs already, colder days ahead. 

Every time it's raining here in Delhi, I can't help thinking it must be snowing up on the mountains. I know I am crazy.

Rains are always a good start and it's just 7'o clock in the morning. Well, the beautiful start of my messy day. 

Dear God. please take care of my people. I love you. :)))

Gaumukh Tapovan Trek!

Beginning of this year, a holy man looked at my birth chart and told me, 'You have life threat from Mountains'. I smiled, and said, 'You shouldn't have said that in front of my mom' ;-)

In my head, I thought, we all have to die one day and for me what can be better than mountains.

Today, sitting here, in the second last month of this year, I would like to admit it's not as rosy as it sounds, the whole ‘Dying in Mountains’ idea.  I have seen it very close, twice, this year.  It’s not that I am terrified or something, but I am not very excited about it, anymore.

To summarise my trekking trips this year, I have done quite a few treks in Bali for waterfalls, volcano, and rice fields.  Coming to the mountains, specifically, I have done 3 treks.

Nag Tibba in January, Everest Base Camp in April and Gaumukh Tapovan in the month of October.

I have mentioned briefly about the first 2 in my earlier post and had no intention of writing about Gaumukh Tapovan.

Last week, I was generally talking to my mom and out of the blue, she asked me, ‘Have you blogged about your recent trek?’

 It was surprising for me because she never ever asked about my blog.

I was a bit reluctant, I said, 'No, I didn't write about any of the mountain treks this year. They were not my best.' On which she replied, 'You should, good or bad, it's your journey and experience and it's your blog. It's all about learning'.

I told her about my blog, I think some 7-8 years ago. She is not very tech savvy but to my surprise, she remembered it. Though now she is a pro in online shopping on Myntra, Amazon, Big basket and other apps, this was unexpected.

So, I would like to give all the credit of this post to her. And I am going to skip the bad experience part for the post.

Coming back to my recent trek, Gaumukh Tapovan, it was an unplanned trip which I thought of sitting on Mount Batur in Bali and booked 4 days before the departure.

I didn’t intentionally plan Gaumukh Tapovan, it happened.

I don’t know where to begin.

It was an 8 day long trip with 4 days of trekking itinerary. 2 days for to and fro from Dehradun to Gangotri and vice-versa, 1 additional day at Gangotri and 1 at Bhojwasa Campsite.

Though, I changed my plan a bit and decided to descend alone a day before the trek officially ended.

The trip started from my favorite Dehradun, so much I am in love this place now and it’s like my second home.

As always, I reached Dehradun a day in advance.  This time I met an old friend who shifted to Dehradun sometime back. We went out for dinner and a movie before my trip started.

Day 1- Dehradun to Gangotri drive

After a long day on the road, we reached Gangotri at 7 pm. Had our dinner and slept.

Day 2- Relaxing day at Gangotri

This was an extra day at Gangotri. We roamed around, visited temples and attended Ganga Aarti at Gangotri temple in the evening. Blissful experience it was. The place was damn cold which gave me a fair idea of cold in upcoming days.

Day 3- Gangotri to Chirbassa- 9kms

It was an easy walk. We started around 9 am and reached our 1^st campsite by 3.30pm. The views were mesmerizing and the campsite was good and clean. I discovered a beautiful white sand Ganga beach in the evening and spent an amazing time there.

Day 4- Chirbassa to Bhojwasa- 5kms

A short and not so sweet walk. This day I felt blisters on my feet and the pain was terrible.

In the evening, I covered them with surgical tape but it was of no good. It was in really bad shape.

Plus in the afternoon, I saw some people from other camps were playing cricket so I couldn’t stop myself and joined them and we played till it was dark, for almost 4 hours. At that moment, I absolutely forgot about my blisters though it was paining, but, I was alright.

Day 5- Bhojwasa to Gaumukh to Bhojwasa- 10 kms

It was a long day and a bit tiring as well. For me, it was additionally painful because of my growing blisters. This day we had to cross three ice-cold rivers and my blisters made it worse for me. I am in pain even when I am writing about it, right now.

For the first time, I felt I am losing conscious while crossing the river.

In the ice-cold water, the blisters were hurting like someone was cutting my toes inside the water with a sharp knife, and the tape was all wet and washed off. After crossing the second river, tears started flowing and after crossing the 3^rd one I refused to walk. I just sat down on a big rock and cried for I don’t know how long.

I honestly felt I am going to die and will never be able to walk again in my life.

I couldn’t move because of blister-pain, my legs which were wet in icy water till upper thighs got froze and I was unable to feel any sensation in them for almost an hour. I failed to stand up, multiple times. Gosh! It was damn crazy.

Day 6- Bhojwasa to Gangotri

This day was supposed to be our Bhojwasa to Tapovan trek, but, I decided to descend back for 2 reasons- my blisters and the cold. I was dying to be in warm weather.

I descended alone and lost my way in between, but luckily, I found my way back and reached Gangotri around 5pm.

I was feeling blessed, I found a room and booked it. And for the next day, I decided to go back to Dehradun.

Day 7- Gangotri to Dehradun

I checked for the available mode of transport and boarded a local bus to Uttarkashi and from there I took a shared cab till Dehradun. Pheww!

By 7pm, I was in Dehradun, and I was very happy. It was perfectly warm weather.

Once again, I met my friend in Dehradun and since I had one extra day we celebrated my birthday in advance with another movie and lunch and dinner at an exotic place. And also, I stayed at her place for the extra day for which I never booked anything.

Though I love all weathers, this trip made me realize I can’t bear the excess cold.

For my last day, that was 20^th October, I had booked a nice place for myself and there I got a surprise upgrade so I had an amazing birthday celebration. :)

Overall, I loved my experience. There were certain bad elements I am not willing to talk about.

No, no, the blisters were not the bad part. They were for learning. :)

And yes, no more mountain trips this year. At least, for right now, I think so.  ;-)

Dear God, I love you. Take care of my people. Muuah. :)

Pictures from the trek-

Bali.

I don’t know if I can ever do justice to this post, for love can never be expressed in words.

All my life I thought, I am a beach person, in fact, I was sure. Then one day after my Rupin trek, I realized I love mountains more than anything and there is no feeling compared to the feeling I have in the mountains.

And eventually, unintentionally, one finely beautiful day, I fell in Love with Bali.

Such a confused creature I am, no less than any Imtiaz Ali’s character. Unknowingly falling for something and one day coming to a conclusion, all my life I lived an illusion.

I hate being emotional. I think all the suffering I have in my life is because of this one trait. But, then, all the beautiful things I enjoy to the core are also because of this. Sometimes, I wonder if people feel even 1% of the way I feel, with even half of its intensity. I can sense every emotion in my blood and bones, to the core of my being. And I hate it. I think life is simple if you are emotionless.

All my life I just kept running away from everything that had a potential of giving me pain, and emotions were on the top of the list. I hate it.

Sorry, coming back to Bali.

Bali was never my love at first sight. 

On 22^nd August’18, I landed in Bali at 10 pm and after standing in a long queue for immigration, luggage, currency and sim card when I finally managed to come out of the airport, I realized, my name placard was missing in the crowd of people.

Super tired, I called up my hotel to ask about the taxi status, on which they had some stupid reason to give and I had to wait for an hour more. After reaching my hotel at 1am, I instantly disliked the room and the rest of my night I spent online, looking for another place to stay. 

My first morning here, I realized my whole body was very badly shivering when I was still in a deep sleep; I managed to open my tired eyes and realized it was a deadly earthquake. Strongest that I have ever felt in my life, I rushed out of my room and thought of Lombok incidence that happened a few days ago. 

Anyhow, I had a bad headache all this while and it was a super scary start of my trip. 

And I was thinking, why the hell I picked Bali for travel. Why in the whole wide world people come here for a honeymoon, why!? I was badly freaked out.

Day 2 in Bali, I changed my hotel and from that moment onward everything magically changed. My second hotel was a beautiful boutique resort a bit away from the main city in the outskirts of Ubud, surrounded by lush green rice fields.

I enjoyed Ubud for 3 days before moving to North Bali where I had an interesting project to handle.

North Bali was a quiet, peaceful, serene and not-so-crowded place with virgin black volcanic sand beaches. No touristy crowd. Absolutely blissful. Perfectly my kinda place.

I loved the sunrises, sunsets, morning evening walks, evenings in open cafes with live classic music, so much to talk about and I have no words to explain. Plus the place I stayed in was one of the best in Bali, sea facing sunrise villa in a beautiful green resort, it couldn’t have been any better for sure. Without a doubt, I lived a dream.

I lived there for 35 days before moving back to Ubud where I spent 10 more days before I moved back to India.

And my India return was another story. My return was already booked with a 3-day long Singapore trip for my Birthday in-between. But as usual, plans are not for me.

2^nd Oct’18, after my Mount Batur climb, I was sitting on a mountain top looking at the beautiful sunrise in Bali. I sensed a strange craving within, I don't know why at that very moment I missed mountains very intensely. And in a fraction of a second, I was dying to go to the Himalayas. As if something was pulling me, a strange force.

I came back to my room and desperately checked all the possibilities available in near future, also, if my India return can be preponed, I could find 2 options but no Bali to Delhi ticket was available. I again checked next morning and found out one ticket option was available, booked it. 

I gave myself one day to unpack Bali and pack for my next adventure. Reached Delhi on 10th late evening and had my train booked for 12th early morning and had no clue how it will happen in-between. 

And it happened.                        

I was leaving Bali with tears in my eyes, but, I was looking forward to my mountain trip. Emotions are always complicated, defying all the logic.

Dear God, thank you for everything, you know I love you. Give me strength and take care of my people. Muuah.

Serendipitous Siliguri!

The moment I landed in Bagdogra, the first thought that crossed my mind was

"Someday, I'll come here for my trek"

Siliguri for work was never on my mind to begin with!

Gosh, so much I love new places.. I find myself smiling every time I travel, most of the time, throughout, without any reason and it comes naturally! 

And I try to control it every time I find a curve on my lips, crazy happy kid! :)

My journey began with very weird incidences an evening before my travel, long long story which I would not like to discuss. :P

I landed in Siliguri on Thursday afternoon, in a super hot weather, coming from Delhi, I was wearing a sweater and a jacket and since, a friend told me it's cold in Siliguri, I was carrying a leather jacket too. 

Definition of cold for someone living in Delhi and in love with snow is a bit different. I landed here and was all in sweat instantly, like I was in Chennai.. Ah, my Chennai Love! :P

Soon after check-in, I left for work, my work here was to be a part of an event organized by my company, and just to tell you it was a 'food festival' and people in East are crazy about food. And I was traveling alone from our North office.

This place felt so much like Calcutta but without yellow taxis and Rosogullas, the day ends here by 5pm, you can see dark night sky and bright moon by 5pm.

It was a feeling like what  you feel between Delhi and Chandigarh, Chandigarh is organized though. :P

I met people from my Calcutta team here, luckily, the guy I met on day 1 was a half Delhiite, he lived in Gurgaon for almost 12 years, so we had quite a lot to talk about. From Rice Liquor in Gurgaon to Korean Coffee to the most happening places and the life, THE LIFE IN GURGAON! Crazy! 

Of course, who knows about life in Gurgaon better than me. :P

On day 1, I tried the famous Singada which is known as Samosa, and Puchka, our very own Golgappa in Delhi.

On coming back to our hotel, we tried local food for dinner, another different thing here was, everything you eat is made of refined flour, no wheat flour.. forget instant breads, even rotis, parathas, pooris were made of refined flour. Not trying to act pricey, ate whatever I got quietly. In Delhi, I avoid brown breads too, here I was eating white chapatis! And was loving it, thoroughly! :P

Next day, more people joined us from Calcutta and the group was now a big one. Too many people, too much to listen to.

One more thing I have noticed in Calcutta people is, they are too possessive about their city.

I was having breakfast with someone from the city, must be in his 50s, during a general discussion, I was telling him how similar I find Siliguri and Calcutta, on which he argued as if I said something very disrespectful. I mean, It's my experience and observation, indeed no two cities are same but they tend to resemble. He defended Calcutta by saying there is no other place like Calcutta in India. Ah! Right!  

I like Calcutta, It's slow, calm and relaxed like no other metropolitan. Best of both worlds, life in metro with a peace of small town, absolutely chilled out!

But then I love Bombay, so amazingly fast and happening and safe and what not! 

It was writing about Siliguri and I am roaming in India. :P

I seriously feel my Siliguri trip was Serendipity, I never expected it, nor looking for it but I am really happy it happened. :-) :-)

I enjoyed every bit of it with work, though, it was very hectic but I really cherished it all this while.

December is here and my history of Decembers is crazy, already started with a super exciting and mad one. :P

By the way, I finished few more books and already halfway through my next one, which makes it 8 in November and since my December is here let's see how many more I'll be able to finish! :P

For me December is Devil's month, all my demons are highly active, creating mess in my head and life.  

Dear God, I love you. Please take care of my people and please please help me sailing through December! :* :*

P.S.- Belated Happy Birthday Pearl :)

I am Blessed! :-)

I am not Lucky, I am Blessed.

I have always believed I am God's favorite child and He loves me the most. :-)

I have been through some real tough phases in life where I was almost sure I won't survive, but, not only I survived, I emerged stronger than ever before.

We keep finding these articles written everywhere talking about "supreme power"; "whatever happens, happens for our good"; "there is a light after dark" and so on, but I have practically experienced all this in my life in different phases.

I have so many practical examples of situations where I craved for something, badly wanted it, but God allowed me to cry, scream and shout but kept it away from me, and he always made me realize later how good it was for me and I was being saved from big disasters. At times, I had some serious fights with God but He always replied back.

They say "Sometimes not getting what you want is a wonderful stroke of luck", and I absolutely believe in this. And not because I read it or heard it, I have experienced it in most crucial situations of my life.

I have faced series of rejections in situations where I was sure to succeed, but there also God was saving me for something very good which obviously I couldn't see.

We humans can't see the future and I specifically get really restless at times. 

I am headstrong and I crave for things very badly, my intensities are very different from normal people and that's one reason I try to keep myself away from basic addictions.

Being strong headed is not only a blessing, its a curse as well. It makes you a difficult human being. If it gives you power to get over what you want, it also makes you equally weak. Strong head makes you prone to addictions and you want what you want, it makes you stubborn, your head rules you and makes you really miserable. Ah not getting into it. May be someday I'll write on pros and cons of being headstrong. :P

Everyone is blessed with certain strengths and weaknesses. My biggest weakness is I am not expressive and I suffer a lot because of this one trait in every sphere of life. 

I am deviating from my topic!

This was about my gratitude towards all good things happening in my life, and for God for loving me so much.

I believe in miracles and have witnessed them in most unexpected situations. And yes, I am waiting for one

I know God you are protecting me from all the bad in life. I feel really lucky at times, though I get depressed when I don't get what I want. You know that I am your little kid who wants everything. :P

God, I know I bother you a lot by asking too many questions, emotionally blackmailing you, crying and fighting, but I know, you know the best for me and you'll take care of everything in my life. Please give me patience to handle things and take care of my people.

Love you, muaah :-))

Have Courage and Be Kind!

"I want to tell you a secret that will see you through all the trials that life can offer- Have Courage and Be Kind

Cinderella (Movie)"

I have seen the future. I know what is going to happen in the next 5 years, or 10 years in my life. (Except for a situation where I fall down while climbing some mountain and die) :P

I know because I believe. I believe in hard work, being honest, being kind to people and keeping my thinking clear.

Once my brother told me, don’t worry about what’s next, if you are doing the right thing and honest in your approach your life will improve, not immediately but gradually. And it will stay.

I believe in karma. Somehow, we all know how we operate, deal with people, being fair or unfair, hurt others or help them repair themselves from the wounds their heart carries. Life isn't fair every day and that’s alright.

At times, I really feel weird thinking about the situations I am in... Professionally, personally and so on. I know I over-think, but, then I over-work, I over-love, over-care and so on. Since I live in extremes, moderation is never my thing.

People around me influence me up to a great extent. I like being with honest people and I have got a thing for genuine people. 

I am no God, I know I have hurt people in past and it took me a very long time to get over it, accepting the fact that emotions are uncontrollable. We can't exactly feel the same every time we are required to and we unintentionally hurt people under certain circumstances. I have done wrong things for which I know will never be spared by God.

In the end, God knows my intent. And I know I am His favourite I will be fine

Dear God, I love you and I trust you for everything. I know you can never do any wrong to me and you have better plans. Please take care of my people. Muuaah :*

Happy-Sad Post!

If Bollywood can have a “Happy Sad Song”, I can also have “Happy Sad Post” :P

I know I can’t just stop being filmy.

I usually try to ensure writing all positive posts but in the end I am also human and when bad things happen... God save the world... no matter how much I hide it... I go visibly mad... Yea! There is one difference I can't be angry for too long.

So, when this year began my first target was to see snowfall and second was to do Chadar trek which happens during January and February every year.

All excited, I booked my tickets in December and paid good amount for the trek. Now, I knew this is going to be in Leh which is at a pretty good height I'll need stronger lungs and calf muscles... so, I started running.

But... it was just first week of Jan and I caught throat infection... Struggling with antibiotics I told myself 'All is going to be super awesome'... Antibiotics failed on me and I caught fever... Changed meds and finally... when I was recovering... I was under the strong influence of cough and cold... Phew... Again a new mission started to beat the same to go for my Chadar trek... It was a countdown for me... 10...9... 8... Days to go... And finally it was 3 days to go... I was not getting any better but I was sure to go.

In between all of this... I don’t know from where I started having breathing issues... And I used to feel breathless while sleeping, driving and walking... and I had to stop running for a whole month when it was the most important. On consulting my intelligent doctor I was assured by him that I am stressed and nothing else and because of stress only I was facing difficulty in breathing. I was assured I was fine.

21^st January, the D-day was here...  The day I was eagerly waiting for.. I had morning flight at 6.30 am to catch... super excited... I got up at 3am... Got ready and left... again I was feeling breathless while going to the airport... I assured myself 'It's Stress'...

Aah.. Excitedly... I boarded my flight and in an hour after boarding we were in Leh... What a brilliant sight from the sky it was... Heaven on earth... I had a smile on my face all this while... :)

By 8.30am I was in my hotel... And the group assembled... We had breakfast and short briefing session for the trek which was next day...

It was -16 in Leh and I was living every bit of it... I had my first coffee outside our hotel in chilled weather... Pure bliss...

Till I was in Delhi I used to dream of this... Every day for a month prior to my trek.. I used to read about the weather predictions for coming days in Leh and I was pretty sure I’ll experience snowfall... Day dreaming of the snowfall I was sipping my coffee in -16 degrees...

Post that we relaxed till lunch... After lunch we decided to go out and check out local markets... Every sight of it was just amazing... I have no words to express the joy.

The girl I was sharing room with had to visit someone in Leh... So, she asked me to accompany her... We met her friend and had nice cup of tea... Ladakhi people are really nice and hospitable...

It was almost 5pm and we were walking back towards our hotel... All of a sudden I started feeling deep pain in my rib cage... It was there though for last few hours which I avoided in excitement to roam around in Leh. The pain was growing and was unbearable... I quietly came to my room and slept thinking “I'll be okay”.

I got up at 8.30pm and pain was still there... Not even a slight improvement... Anyhow I had light dinner... Took medicine suggested by trek leader and decided to sleep.

10pm..11..12..am and I was helpless and breathless... Unable to sleep I struggled for hours to breathe... For a moment I felt I am dying... Unable to breath at all... I had no option but to call my trek leader... It was 2am and I was feeling guilty for waking him up...

He came and said the same thing 'You are stressed' and I was wondering “God knows how come everyone is so sure about my stress levels”.

We went to hospital in emergency and doctor examined me... He said I developed some Pulmonary Edema named syndrome which is fatal and it's there since few days... So, the breathlessness I had in Delhi was not stress exactly but this pulmonary issue.

Super! I told him I have a trek to do today... for which he was quite rude in saying, “You can't do it”. As per the doctor, if this will develop into HAPE which I googled later I can die within few hours..

Lying on hospital bed I checked what HAPE actually is... High Altitude Pulmonary Edema... What an adventurous journey... I am sure I was the only one this excited for the trek and I was not allowed to go on it.... And was in hospital... They gave me oxygen and some injection... I impatiently waited for morning.

In morning, my trek leader called my family saying I can't do the trek and asked me to either stay in hospital or go back. I chose the latter.

I boarded my flight to Delhi on 22nd morning... Cried my heart out sitting in flight back. Super annoyed and irritated.

Landed back went to hospital and started with my treatment...

Of course, I had a huge fight with God.. I cried for days... It was a terrible feeling.

I was being told by people to avail my leave which were approved from office and relax at home... but, rebellious I am... If I am not on Chadar let it be office!  I cancelled my leave and continued work.

For 4 days I was checking 'weather in leh/ladakh' on Google every 2nd hour... Every time I used to get up at 2am or 4am, I used to look for Leh weather... Knowing that it's snowing in Leh broke my heart multiple times...

And no matter whatever people may say I know it's just not okay. I fought with people.. I shouted like a wounded animal on them for no good reason... It's truly annoying... And I will never understand 'WHY' for this. I need no sympathy or kind words. I am cruel.

Anyhow, its 27th January and I am not feeling any better... And this will take time to heal.

Dear God, I really hate you for this. And I don't want to talk to you. Kindly be with my people and don’t talk to me! :(

Sharing few pictures I clicked on my phone-

A shot from my breakfast table

My new love interest!

Mountains 

the river!

Golden Sunrise

Ladakhi Hospitality