Showing posts with label 2015. Show all posts
Showing posts with label 2015. Show all posts

Monday, November 30, 2015

Happy Birthday Pearl :-)


The most difficult thing is when you don’t have feelings to express!

I started Pearl to write whatever I feel, but now, I don’t feel anything... just nothing. I am blank mostly in my head. And heart, what’s heart? Oh yes, the blood pumping organ. Yeah, I have that :P

Weird I know but true.

I have changed or something died in me or may be everything is all right, I just over think.

Happy 6th Birthday Pearl. I am sorry for being so irresponsible towards you.

But, I still love you. And love is not a feeling. Muuaah.


Thursday, September 10, 2015

10 things I learned in my 1 year @Mirchi


Today, on 11th September I completed my first one year in this office. This is not the first office where I completed my 1 year but this one year was great in terms of learning. I learnt things which no book or work experience can teach ever.

I learnt practical things about life and people and I am glad I stayed here after all the storms and troubles.

So, beginning with my list of lessons-

1.      There can be a life with a background music



O yes, I clearly remember the day when I walked into this office for the first time, there was a music in background all the time. For a girl like me who loves music, office couldn’t be better. The only thing I prayed was to be a part of this organisation and as you can see, I am completing my 1 year here. :D
So , when something bad happens to me here I think about the music and cheer myself up instantly.

Learning- Music truly lightens up mood and makes life beautiful.

2.      Life is Filmy




I am a Disney princess and my life is always filmy, and here I feel I am living a movie in real... where i have paintings of bollywood actors all around me, music in background. Freedom to think and do what I like. Just WOW!

Learning- At times, Dream jobs are for real! :)


3.      You need to be your own HERO


Yes Sweetheart, you need to fight for yourself and stand up for what is right, even if it means standing all alone. But, trust me its all worth fighting for, it’ll only make you a stronger and a better person. So, when bad time hits badly, just hold on and fight. NEVER GIVE UP. In future it’ll help wherever you’ll go.

Learning- God keep on testing all of us, just have faith and carry on.

4.      Don’t believe what others think of you




 I know myself the best. Period.

Those who don’t even know me are no one to judge me or tell me who I am. I am introvert, silent, aggressive, mean blah blah blah. To hell with the opinions. I spent 27 years with me, so, I know the best. And in 27 years I met more than 27000 people to judge me. I don’t care anymore. Peace.

Learning- Believe in YOURSELF. That’s what matters in long run.

5.      Eating alone


Yes, I was always reluctant to eat alone in public, not because I lack courage, it’s because I love eating with people. In my all previous workplaces we used to eat food together always. But, here I learnt to eat my food alone. Though, I really hated it. I even stop carrying lunch to office for sometime, but, then I gradually adapted. If that’s how it is... LET IT BE, why should I suffer?

Learning- If it’s necessary for you do it, even if it means doing it alone.

6.      No, you cannot find friends everywhere



This reminds me of Ranbir Kapoor’s answer for an interview question (In office context though), he said “ there are times when I pick my fone and scroll down contacts list but out of more than 1000, I can’t find one to call and share my heart out”. Believe me, initially used to think with time I’ll make friends, I was sure as I think I am a good friend. But, it doesnt matter how nice you are, you can't always find friends. So, instead I have learnt to work without them. Though even if I believe it’s great to have friends, I can do without having any in office.

Learning- I am now very comfortable being alone in office. People you need to impress can never be your friends.

7.      Everything happens for a reason



Yeah, though I need answers for many things happened. I need to know the reason behind :P
Just kidding, everything happens for a reason for sure and I always got my reverts from God. I believe in supreme power and I am sure anyone can be unfair to me but God can never be. I am his favourite Kid and I have blind faith. This one is for you, God- Muuuaaah ;-)

Learning- Trust the power above when you are restless.

8.      You cannot change everything


Though I know it’s obvious, I am no God. But, at times I really want to change certain things and it’s the only point where sometimes I feel really upset. But, as they say life is not always a bed of roses. Disney princess will have to fight a few villains anyways :P

Learning- Problems really makes us feel alive.

9.      People will judge you anyway


Yo, it’s very true. No matter what you say or do, good or bad, right or wrong, people will judge you. So, really do whatever you like, in a way you are comfortable with. At least please yourself because it’s really worth it.
Initially I used to attend all office parties thinking that they are my office people I should know them and I never enjoyed it for 1 good reason I never had friends here. And if they are not my friends it doesn’t matter what they think. So, if you want to skip a few parties you don’t enjoy go ahead and do it, anyways it doesn’t matter as long as you are happy doing it.

Learning- Do things for your people and please yourself, not everybody.

10.  There are happy workplaces in REAL!

Yes Yes there are and mine is one. So, it doesn’t really matter if I have friends or not, or I eat alone, I like working here. I am happy when I enter my office with background music, happy faces, colourful walls, creative and independent work culture. I am in love with it!
Whether I talk to people or not I find myself attached to them automatically I dunno how, its the culture bond we share. So many happy people around and it all seems like blessing to me.

Learning- Second time I am in love with my workplace. First was my first Job!

Dear God, I would like to thank you for everything. Be there with me always. And bless my people. I love you :)) muaah

Tuesday, July 21, 2015

Don't just survive. Live!


Sometimes I wish I could take an year off from work and travel the world, do whatever I really want to do... Pursue my interests and enjoy my life to the fullest.. For I know I will not get this time again... 

I have so much in mind... So many destinations to travel, interests to pursue, games to play, things to learn... How come I grown up so fast... :-(

Many times I fail to understand why we work like we are not humans for something which is not our dream...

'I love my company so much, I wish I could work here forever' said no one ever but I have met people who said and wished they could travel for the rest of their lives... Or spend time with their kids and family more often..

One reason for being dissatisfied and unhappy in life is not doing what you aspire to do and pushing yourself into something which makes you feel miserable...

I have changed jobs. And believe me I failed to explain it to people why I made those choices... Even if I tell the truth people can't accept it... Above all I don't understand why I even need to explain... Isn't it my life & can't I make my own decisions! Does changing jobs makes me inferior or less competent? The answer is No!

Quite often my caliber and capabilities are judged on my stability.. But, I know myself better than anyone else.. If I want to do something no one can stop me or beat me at it, but, if I don't, no one can make me work for it. 

I feel if you are born as a human there is a purpose... If something is not good enough don't waste time or crib about it... There is a reason God chose not to make you a tree. At least be passionate about your own dreams!

If something is not right or apt no one will come and help.. but.. you. People can only give you suggestions but its you in the end. You know yourself the best and no one else can live this life for you.

We are are born alone and die alone then why we need to live somebody else's life?

I really feel the only people worth prioritizing in life are our parents...  Rest the life is ours. \m/

Changing jobs, leaving them or sticking to them, work, travel, hobbies, photography and so on... Do what really makes you happy..

This life won't last forever not this time will come back...

I don't wanna regret in my old age that I wasted my life working for something which was of no good for me..

Don't bother what people think, it's your life and they are not going to be with you forever. So, pursue your dreams and live them... 

Don't just survive through this life. LIVE IT! You won't get it again.

God, bless me with a life I want and give me courage to pursue my dreams. Take care of my people. Love you. :-)

Sunday, July 5, 2015

I am an Addict!


O Yes! I am an addict.. A Travel addict...

Like Ranbir said in Ye jawani hai Deewani- “Main udna chahta hoon, daudna chahta hoon, girna bhi chahta hoon ... bus rukna nahi chahta”

I dunno what it is... But, I keep on reading about travel when I am not travelling... I don’t precisely know what addiction is all about, but, I crave to visit new places.... I love travelling... No matter to which place... for me its new... I love nature; I love different cultures, the food, the sunrise, the sunset, the journey, the air, the water and the feeling of my being in a new place...

It gives me immense happiness when I travel to a new destination, and when I am not travelling (I mean sitting in office or at home) I dream about my next travel, I plan another trip.... I read about destinations, I make a list of what is missing in my travel bag... For me... I never unpack my bag... ;-)

My weekends when I travel are more relaxing than the ones I spend at home... Its weird I know but it’s true....

When I am unable to travel to any new place for a month or so I feel upset and depressed... It’s a same feeling which I get when I skip my espresso... you know that addiction wali feeling...

Travel makes me happy... it gives me enormous pleasure to be able to breathe in a different air.... It’s like my basic need... and nothing else can fulfil it... No coffee no shopping no food nothing...

Whenever I visit a beautiful place I feel I leave a part of my heart there and it remains with me... though... I forget everything in maximum 3 days.... Thanks to my memory... I can’t remember anything.... but the feel stays in me.... A connection with that place... A pull that calls me back....

It’s a passion in me which is only growing stronger day by day... Dunno where I will end up... But... wherever it may be... all I really wish is to travel travel and travel for the rest of my life...


God, please help me.... I promise I’ll try to be a better person, but please help me... Love you.... Bless my people... :)

Wednesday, May 20, 2015

I miss being a Kid!


Though I genuinely believe I am still a kid! :P

Sometimes, I feel... how much we change with time... We grow and learn and turn into somebody so different...

Although, It all happens for some or the other reason... but, at times I miss the kid version of me... The naughtiest & adventurous kid ever :P

I seriously miss how little things used to make me feel on the top of this world....

A packet of Cadbury gems by dad used to make my day, an Amul chocolate used to be a jackpot, a pack of fun flips was a packet of joy.... How excited I used to be for a trip to India gate with family... And then spending the rest of our evening playing with balloons & bubbles.... Wow! :D

Life was so simplified, easy... So stress free & peaceful... Only stress used to be the Home work...

Only I know how badly I miss my Summer Vacations... Chutti Chutti on DD2, playing cricket all day long in sun without worrying about the tanning... followed by cycling in evening with brothers for till the time mom used to call us back... Nostalgia!

I feel I had the best of childhood, I have learnt my sportsman spirit by playing cricket & badminton; I have learnt to be a scientist by experimenting with so many things like fixing lights, opening up the music system with screwdriver and closing it back, by cooking food in self made solar cooker and ‘n’ number of things; learnt cooking by helping my mom in kitchen; tasted adventure by running on the roof fences of buildings while playing hide n seek & climbing on trees to steal mangoes :P; learnt farming by working in my kitchen garden... whoa... I truly enjoyed every bit of my life as a kid....

Even after growing up I always loved my life & believe I am God’s favourite girl... Yes, we do argue but that’s because we love each other :))

There are and there were ups & downs in my life but that’s just a part of living an eventful & most happening life... There is no fun in living a dull life... And yes, I am a Disney princess so my life is supposed to be filmy & dramatic... And the traits I possess are very well suited... :D

Life is great in terms of everything, but, really sometimes I want to go back to the time where there were no mobile phones to keep us busy, there was a life which was social in real sense & happiness which had a REAL meaning attached to it... Far beyond materialistic love & fake happiness... I wish!

Love you God, Take care of my people, Good night... muaaah :))

Wednesday, April 15, 2015

Life! Of course, it’s Beautiful!


Note- This is not my usual cheer up post... So read at your own risk! :-P

From past many days, I was thinking over everything happened in my life in last few years... Though I have things in my memory in bits and pieces... And I don't remember anything precisely but I do remember the time when I started writing Pearl...

I started blog with things which used to make me feel happy or positive... In fact, I truly believe that it was a point in time where everything going on in my life was just superb... Those were my MBA days... I had super awesome friends... Good fitness, cool grades and the best of life... :-)

Life moved on and things kept on changing... I was always so happy about everything around me... Be it my first job or my friends or my body... My attitude towards life... Everything was always a fairy tale... And I was the Princess...

I messed up in my jobs by choosing wrong ones but still my life was great as I had my friends & family to support me in my decisions... And my decisions were mainly ruled by heart... Many times I had done things without practically evaluating the pros & cons of it... And never regretted.... That’s the power of your people and their faith on you.

Moving on in life... I faced some real bad situations and met some disgusting people. Of course, in every fairy tale there is a villain to spoil everything... Things changed drastically and horribly...  I lived a nightmare in real... All the fairy-tale theory came to an end... It took me everything to gather myself back... I so wished to disappear from this earth but as God had others plans and I stayed here... :P But, it all changed something in me...

And as they say “What doesn't kill you, makes you Stronger” :P

I don't wanna recall that depression I went through for more than an year... but, all I know today is I am not the girl who started writing this blog... Those incidents altered me completely.

After all the turmoil... I landed up in a bank as a salesperson... It truly helped me in realising that “working in a bank is not the worst thing that can happen to you..., it can be good too

I had this phobia in mind since college days that banks are real bad, but trust me... I had good time there and I met some great people.... which helped me in overcoming the depression I was facing... I moved on... I never liked my bank job... but, even today I love the people I met... And it's always about people, unless you are travelling! :P

Finally, the present... I love the organisation I work for but I terribly miss my friends...

I realised why people in college used to say life is not a bed of roses, grow up and be practical! And how I used to tell them it’s always beautiful no matter what... Now, I know they were not wrong :))

They say "har jagah sab kuch nahi milta" which I never agreed in life... I always believed it’s in our mind... It’s all here if we are content... But, first time I realised... No matter what you have and what you do... If you don't have your people with you... It’s all waste...

I never felt this way in my life... Except... once in school when I was shifted to a new section with new kids and I was lost for many days... This is a similar feeling... I somehow feel everything is missing... I have learnt a lot though... It’s a churning experience for me and it was important... 

Today, I am less bothered about people... but, I have realised the value of my people more than ever and I miss them.

As of now... I m in search of the girl I used to be...  I know it’s in me... Somewhere scared... She used to inspire people to follow their heart and live life king size... Today, I am looking for that zeal again...

I need a miracle... I know they happen... God send me your angel... your best angel... I know I am your favorite... :-) Love you.. Please bless my people... Muaah :-*

Friday, March 6, 2015

Right or Wrong!

The topic itself is very subjective... As the definition is absolutely different for each one of us... What is wrong might be right for some... and vice-versa.

Recently, media released a documentary projecting the views of a rapist involved in Nirbhaya’s case.. listening to which I had a strong urge to kill those 5 people... And their mindset killed something inside me... So helpless I feel... what a useless existence I have if I can’t do anything to change this!

I was thinking about the points he said, the crime he committed... and our law’s take on it... I wonder what our government is waiting for. Why is he still alive?

But, thinking deeper on it, I asked myself “Is all law so weak, or, we as a society are incapable?”

We all blame law & order, it’s easy... but are we strong enough to raise our voice against wrong things.... And the answer is clear NO!

We all think about our individual existence, these cases like rapes, robberies are happening publicly but what people are doing except for keeping their mouth shut... I sometimes hate it... people can argue, gossip & crib later but when it’s about taking a stand for right or wrong they only think about themselves as an individual and stay quiet... If we as an individual will not stand against wrong we won’t be able to stop injustice... it’s not law... It’s ‘us’!

People always favour the one in power whether it is political or any other... no matter whether he/she is right or wrong... We live in a country where if you are strong ‘power-wise’ or ‘position-wise’ you are always right... And no one is bothered about the one who is weak, whether he/she is actually wrong or not..... And our media shows what they are paid for... It’s all “Power Game”...

Politics, law & order are very different level altogether... And most of it is beyond our control but this power game can be seen easily everywhere.. Be it a corporate or college or any other organisation...

No one supports an individual fighting against wrong... Everyone is only concerned about their existence, promotion, reputation etc... When we love gossiping and debating about these big level issues and blame our law and order why can’t we look around us and see what we are really upto... Most of the times people never support the ‘right thing’ till the time they are also affected... They blindly support the one in power... Issues are ignored completely till the time its personal! 

For rapists and murderers, we love saying “inko faansi pe chadha dena chahiye!”, “goli maar deni chahiye” but really what we are from inside... They can be hanged till death if only we learn to take our stand... I wonder, I live in a country where people died fighting and today all I see around me is a bunch of individuals living for their comfort and cribbing about social issues without even trying to play their part.... No one cares about right or wrong... All they know is their existence... And talk about justice... Bullshit!

The problem is we love cribbing & gossiping but don’t wanna take an initiative to stand against wrong... When its about taking a stand even the so called 'independent' guys are like "chhod na yaar, apne ko kya"; "hum kyu fassein, hone de jo ho raha hai"!

I feel I live in an era of “Spineless” youth....

And, alone I can’t change everything but... that cannot stop me from playing my part... I am not scared or afraid....

For... if I am right I fear nothing!


God, give me strength to not only stand for what is right but, also, to accept the fact that you are all alone when you take a stand! Amen.

Monday, March 2, 2015

Amnesiac Me!


I always wanted to have a poor memory... Not because I don't want to remember things.. But, I hate remembering everything which often leads to over thinking...

Lately, I have realized or rather observed I am losing my past from my brain... Or experiencing a different phase may be... I can't recall things easily from my memory and its not just memory I find it almost impossible to recollect what I did last week, month, yesterday or even in the morning... I forget about movies watched, places visited and people met... Forgetting faces and names is just very normal for me... May be this has helped me in maintaining a diary at workplace... ;-)

Its something like an initial stage of amnesia of 'Drew Barrymore' as shown in '50 first dates' :P

And that's not all... I even face attacks from my memories... Like all of sudden I feel about certain people or moments very strongly and emotionally and all of sudden in fraction of second I go blank... I am not sure whether its serious or not but I wanted to jot it down before I again forget what is happening.... :P

I really can't recall or feel the time when I started pearl and the feel is washed off... I can't feel many things but at the same time I feel certain things so bad that they hurt... And, I am not on any medication... Yes, I take my caffeine dose but that's under check...

At times, I go thinking about one thing for hours and in a second I forget it completely as if it never happened...

When I read my old posts.. I wonder... it's written by me... How's it possible... I mean I really thought all that.... That's really great work... :P but really... I mean its hard to believe...

I have changed mentally and emotionally although I am still weird emotionally but mentally I am total different human... I feel I dunno who I am... I keep searching myself.... And I dunno what all I jotted down... 

God, as usual I'll ask for the same thing which no amnesia can erase :P take care of my people and bless me with a poor memory... love you :)) :*

Monday, January 19, 2015

Mind your Own Business- Seriously! :P

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Next month on 15th February, I’ll complete 5 years of my professional life... Yes, FIVE long years... ;-)

And... After devoting all these years to my work life... I sincerely believe college life was the best in terms of certain things... This nowhere means I am not enjoying my life now... Yes, I am truly in love with the life I am living... Financial independence, responsibility, having the freedom to speak up and manage my time and money as per my own convenience, having a social life without a stress of finishing assignments and so on... And being single along with all this is an icing on the cake.... ;-)

This phase of life is indeed one of the best that could have happened... But in all this there is something which was still the best in college...

I remember in my MBA batch we had people from across the country.... They all were quite diverse in terms of culture, language, persona but they were all accepted as friends and there was no judgement about them on the basis of appearance or anything... The only thing which actually counted was their talent and brain!

But, on the contrary, professional life is very different... I often hear people talking about others' dress up... Lifestyle... Food habits... And they rarely appreciate the talent, brains and the hard work... Seriously, sometimes I feel like asking them... is this the job they are getting paid for....? Or is this what they learnt all their life from their family & teachers... Where is that education?

Education teaches us equality, not discrimination!

In School,  I have learnt “Sangati ka asar” and trust me I don’t wanna opt for this mindset!

3 months back... while working as usually... I heard a dialogue...And it affected me deeply... It was-

Guy A (to Guy B &  Guy C)-  yaar, XYZ ke paas lagta hai ek hi pair hai shoes ka, do hafte se dekh raha hu wohi pehen ke aa jata hai...

Guy B- Silent

Guy C- Silent (giggling)

I mean, really? Why can’t people stand against wrong... listening to wrong statements and not taking your stand is equally bad.... it’s actually an encouragement to the one doing it...

And listening to this I really felt like telling him "dude, you need a life" is this what people are supposed to talk and do in office... We live in a country like India where many people don't get clothes to wear, food to eat and we can still manage to talk like this.... then crib about better government... What govt. will do when people are carrying such mindset... Where is the education, actually?

For me I know I am least bothered about what I wear, forget about others... And I believe that’s what I have learnt throughout my life... To respect people for what they are as a human being and not on their appearances....

You can't judge a person on a pair of shoes...  I am a kinda girl who may repeat a pair of shoes/denims for 2-3-4 months if I love it without touching 50 more I may have... How can we be judgmental about such stupid things... And believe me after listening to this... I respect the guy who can carry himself in same pair for dunno how long, but, I somehow lost respect for the guy judging it...

Whatever we say about others speak a lot about ourselves, so, when we point a finger on someone we should first look at ourselves...

Now, if I go back to my college days... this was something I never felt and in fact, if this would have happened in college I am very much sure no one would have supported such loose remark... That’s what education really means...

Well, I dunno... May be this is how most of the people are in offices... May be!

There were many other things I miss about college like fighting for lunch box, bunking, planning businesses etc. :P things but luckily for me that's not specific  to college only... I was blessed with such people afterwards as well... ;-)


Although, life is perfectly great in terms of everything but sometimes I wish I could change certain things which I believe should be changed....

Anyhow, thank you God for such a brilliant and beautiful life with of course lots of troubles :P.. I love you for being there... Take care of my people... Amen! :*