Recover. Gain Strength. Rejuvenate. BOUNCE BACK!

I am trying to understand what is going on in my mind from past few weeks…. I am in a state of a strange dilemma… kinda suffering… trying super hard to come out of it!

I am being anti-social, destructive, restless, careless, unreasonable, emotionally unavailable, ignorant, cruel, rude and crazy!

It’s a part of me and I don’t mind being so…. But then… the changes in me are scaring me… It’s affecting my work out routine… my professional performance… personal life… and every damn thing!

Whenever, I find myself moving towards darkness and negativity I recall Spiderman III… Where I find negative powers all over me… Ruling my Heart & Mind!

As they say… Life is all about changes and phases…. This is also a phase.. The world is my playground… I am a player who is not in the best form at present but yes, I’ll certainly be fine….

Many good things did happen in last few days… I got my new car… And I am loving it… Though I still love my old one the most…. May be I am fond of the ‘first love thing’…. First job… first car… first home…. First…. Are always very close to my heart and soul…

I guess all I need is… a rejuvenating weekend outing... starting with a long long drive… without phone and net… all alone…. Isolation therapy is good at times…. I need to be alone…. Just me... my coffee… my camera… my running…. Myself!

I need to be with me… I feel I am running from myself… I don’t give a damn to people who don’t matter to me… but I am really concerned about certain people…. I think that’s what is bothering me like hell..

I wanna indulge in all good things where I can recharge myself back.... bring me back on track… I wanna listen to myself… Wanna spend time with my inner self… Together we’ll have good time… long walks, music, coffee, dark chocolates, photography… blogging, running.. And much more….

Dear God, please give me strength and guide me in the right direction…. I need you to be with me…. Your girl is missing you... Love you...

My 25th Birthday…

I had a very strong urge to write blog post on my birthday… But, at the end of the day I was too tired to type anything….

It was my 25^th birthday so I had certain plans from past few months which were all thrashed due to my work…. Anyways, I still managed to enjoy my day… thanks to my family and friends…. I feel lucky to have them... :-)

I can sense winters in Delhi… The weather is changing… So is my mood… It’s pleasant and better…. Every time its winters... I feel a different world around me... A better... more beautiful and serene... And as I always say… Winters make me fall in love with everything around me…

On my birthday, someone told me 25 is the age after which many things start changing…. I dunno what it means actually… As far as maturity level is concerned... I am least bothered… brains & heart I don’t posses…. So what is left? May be metabolism level… :P

Anyhow, sometimes I find it very difficult to understand myself.. I ask myself where am I going… I am 25 now, but.. I still ask myself, In which direction I am going… will I be able to reach my destination this way or not and if yes, then when?

I have dreams, interests, destination, resolutions and so many things to do… And, I hate it when someone asks me about marriage plans… Man! I don’t have time for all that but I guess it’s very difficult to make people understand that… So, I have stopped trying…  I just say- “No plans”

I have noticed, lately I am being more social…. May be I have realized the feeling of being away from my friends… I have realized it’s very difficult to find people who truly understand you and still be with you… I have realized people we randomly meet can be deceptive... And, I have realized life changes….

But, honestly, I have no regrets so far… Yes, I am still not very sure about the path I am moving on will take me how far in the journey towards my destination… But, life is all about moving… And realizing…. And rectifying… And the most importantly…. Having FUN!!!

So, cheers to the upcoming life….:)))

And God, thanks for being there for me….  I Love you for giving me the best of parents, brothers and friends…. I really wanna thank you with all my heart…. And yes, you know the things I wanna change in my life… Please help me with that… I promise I will try to be your good girl… Love you… muaah :-))

I wish...

I wish I could fly...
I wish I could be invisible...
I wish I could turn back time..
I wish to do so much in life...


I wish.... I wish to be a person without any wishes..!

They say "Everything that is done in the World is done by Hope".. And with every hope comes a wish to turn that hope into a reality...

No matter how old I'll ever be... I know.. I will be a person who'll always believe in miracles and will always be in love with Disney movies.

Sometimes, I feel I wish so much in life... So many desires and hopes I have inside me... it makes me feel restless & fidgety.. I try to run from something unknown... 

Although, I know every human being wishes something or the other.. and if our one wish is fulfilled we are ready with more wishes.. 

I don't know how intensely people wish things but I know about myself... When I am into something.. I am into it... I wish it I want it and unless I get it I remain restless... I understand all wishes can't come true... God has his own limitations and targets depends upon the 'Karma' thing... But, at times I find it super difficult to come out of the situations..

May be its a side effect of being ambitious or crazy or black coffee or simply being me...!!

Today, I wish so many things... that I feel lost.. I ask myself what am I doing today.... Is this the right path to walk upon...appropriate direction to walk into... It makes feel uneasy... May be I am too impatient!

Well.. No matter whatever I wish... My first and last wish will always be 'to remain happy' and I can never be happy unless my people are happy.... 

I don't know... What all I am writing... :P

Anyhow, right now I wish to sleep.. but lets see till when my coffee can stop me from fulfilling my this wish...

Good night God... Love you... :-)

Loving My Life! :-)

I dunno what really compelled me to write this post but anyways I am glad to be back here...

Life is being dynamic and eventful... Till last year I used to say I am not happy with my Job because of whatever reasons... I also had a fear in my mind that leaving it might leave me with regrets as the future is always uncertain... But honestly, I am proud to say that it was my best decision of the year to resign from that place.

As far as my present is concerned, touch-wood, I am happy :-)

Yes, life is full of ups and downs, successes and failures... surrounded by people who make you or break you.... Politics.... dirty games and so on.. But, whatever it may be I believe everything in life happens for a reason... Its good or bad is decided by the outlook we carry... 

It will be unfair if I'll say- I hate it when people around me play unfair games and make my life even more complicated.... I wish I could punch them hard on their face..

I would rather say- Yes, I do hate the dirt around but I am learning to fight for it... As life can not be a piece of cake every time, so meeting such people prepares me to fight for what is right and enable me to learn more about humans. (Of course, I'll always be an Anthropologist) ;-)

Well, no regrets from life... Although, I do miss my first job a lot... May be because I had real good people around me whom I'll cherish for the rest of my life... And yes, it was like my first love.. And deserves a special corner in my heart..

New in life is nothing much.... Or I would say so much that I am unable to gather it and jot it down.. ;-)

I keep meeting new people daily.. And like it... I am still a kid without any change so far in my thought processes... So, that ways I do face problems... Specially by trusting wrong people most of the times.. but that is again an integral part of life.. So, no complaints.

Recently, I spent hell lot of money on shopping... I purchased everything- clothes, shoes, bags, accessories, gifts and so on.... Last year, I used to feel that some part of me was not living or rather say was dead/dormant... Now, I feel... I can sense it... I am the same Deepika that I used be 2 years ago... :D

I feel things, good and bad... I m loving shopping again...  I love meeting my old pals.... Hanging out... I can feel feelings... praise music... appreciate beauty... And, I watch every interesting movie on its release weekend without a fail... I cherish my life... I love being busy... I love myself... I love my people.. I am in love with my life....

The only thing drastically changed is my frequency of writing blogs.. Many times I start with something then leave it in-between... May be I am too confused what all to write and what not....
But.. I'll try to write more as it helps me a lot personally to figure out what I am feeling... I can express well in words... in my mind emotions and thoughts are very vague and random... I can compile them in a post and analyse... :))

I'll end it here now, once again.. Thank You dear God... for everything you gave me... forgive me for the bad things I do intentionally/unintentionally.... I'll always be your favorite kid who will never do any wrong to anyone knowingly.. Please be there on my side and take care of my loved ones... Love you.. Muaah.. :-)

Life is a funny Riddle! :-)

I am here again with a happy and positive state of mind… Today is my off after working for 3 continuous weekends…. And I am already feeling very refreshed.. :-)

Yes…! I was not so happy till 2011… I was trying to come out of the situations prevailing in my life at that time… At some point of time we all are in some or the other such situations where we ask ourselves where Am I going? What is the purpose? And blah blah…

Sometimes after getting all we ever wanted we remain sad and feel….. Is this what I once asked for? And this is all very natural and normal question….. They say having everything can’t makes us happy… It’s our inner feeling and state of mind that rules our mind.. I used to say this for consoling myself but the fact is… Things around us affect us big time even after having our dream job we can be sad….. Surroundings affect our positivity and sense of personal satisfaction…

Let’s take an example, When I was in my first job, the nature of my job was field sales… I used to run around all the time like a ‘Pizza delivery boy’ but I was still in love with life and enjoyed every bit of it…. And the reason was the environment and surroundings… I had friends…. I had really good boss…. I had a fun life… I loved the office culture… It was just awesome! The only bad thing was the nature of job and that I used to do all the time but I still never hated my office…. In fact, I was in love with it!

On contrary, my second job… Nature of my job was brilliant…. It was all brain work… Conceptualizing marketing campaigns… working towards making a brand, writing content for various advertisements and websites  and I handled it very well…. It was something I always wanted to do… But I hated my office… I never liked the people around…. The environment was very very bad.. All dirty and cheap politics….. And I honestly felt I am in hell… I used to ask myself the same Question- Is this what I always wanted…?  I wanted to be in Marketing and there I was head of it… Still I hated it…. It was never about the work but it was other supporting things…. You cannot live in a luxurious palace with dirty people…!

Or I would say ‘It is like I cannot eat my favorite food in a filthy place with bad people! But I can eat my not so favorite food in a very nice, clean and exciting place with my loved ones’ and that makes sense too.. :-)

I feel I am an expert at it now… I have been in such situation sooo many times that now when I see someone wondering over the same... I feel like telling them… It’s a temporary feeling with an easy solution…  Ask yourself where you wish to reach in life and then analyze what you do today is helping in reaching that goal or you are just flowing with the tide unhappily…. If that’s the case… Fight for it… Figure out your priorities in life…. Of course everyone deserves a brilliant life…. We never are the slaves of destiny… We should fight for ourselves where ever required…

After all ultimate aim of life is happiness…. So, give yourself time… jot down on paper what you want and have a cup of black coffee and relax…. Cheers! ;-) Bliss… :D

By the way… God I love you… And thanks for being there for me… Just be there for my loved ones too… Thank you…. Muaah.. :-)