Living in a Deep-Freezer!

Years ago, I wrote a blog post on Delhi winters, and this time it's all about Calgary winters.

I landed in Calgary in summer, and oh my God, it was beautiful. The days were long; sunrises happened at 5 am, and sunsets at 10 pm. Nice and warm afternoons, and cool breezy mornings and evenings. It was lovely.

I was in a different phase of life when I landed here, and took those summer days for granted. I spent the majority of my time doing lame things or nothing. I won't blame myself for that; it was a different time. Thinking of last summer reminds me of a fictional novel plot where the author describes a sad protagonist, beautiful surroundings, and she is lost in her thoughts, which are not worth anything but consuming her completely. That reminds me of the beginning of ‘Palomino’ by Danielle Steel, one of my very first romantic novels, and I loved it. And here I am drifting away from the topic yet again. :P

Coming back to Calgary winter. When I landed here, people were trying to warn me, scare me, and honestly, to some extent, I was scared. When this December was warm, I was hoping for a worse January, and people were saying, “Oh, December is good, January will be killer.” I lived here in -50 degrees Celsius in January and went for a walk in -45 degrees. I am more than alive, and it was not that bad. I still feel Delhi winters are more difficult than this. :P

I survived the coldest day in 55 years in Calgary, and I didn't even feel it was harsh. I wonder why these people, especially Indians who are living here for many, many years, were so scared. Delhi used to feel much colder than this, maybe because it was a moist winter with pollution and less sun. Calgary winters are dry with sun and are much better and less cold!

To be honest, -45 degrees was not bad. Different, extreme, crazy cold, colder than a deep freezer but still good.

Most days, I enjoyed good home-cooked food, coffees, teas, hot chocolates, while working from my warm and cozy home and looking outside from the glass walls, appreciating the beauty of falling snowflakes. I also stepped out on my balcony to capture the perfect snowflakes; they were the same star-shaped ones they used to show in Disney movies. It was like stars falling from the sky, so beautiful.

The temperature today is 4 degrees, and honestly, it's a hot day. All my windows are open, and I still feel it's hot. Snow is melting all around, but people said we’ll get some colder days in February as well. As long as I don't have to go out much, I am more than happy. Bring it on! :P

In the month of February, Calgary hosts a Hot Chocolate Festival every year where one can try hot chocolates in different cafes, places in the city, and give a rating online. The top-rated café wins the contest. For my Hot Chocolate love, I am looking forward to it!  <3

Sometimes it feels like I am living a Disney princess life; other days, a Tim Burton story. Anyhow, I miss my family a lot.

Dear God, I love you, and please take care of my people. And, as you know, I always need you by my side. :)

A Year to Remember - 2023!

Over the past few years, I never felt like writing down my year. In fact, I did jot down my thoughts as drafts but never felt right posting them on my blog. The main reason was that they were often filled with deep and dark emotions. Most were written with tearful eyes. Regardless, those drafts will always be dear to me. Someday, if I feel like going anonymous on the internet with a new blog, I might publish them. :)

Coming back to 2023, my year was full of emotions. The first few months were crazy sad, and I truly lived in a dark era. I think those were more of a continuation of the past few years. Anyway, in March 2023, I decided to go to New Zealand for my second Masters. I secured a seat in a sought-after course at the University of Auckland, and I was on cloud 9. I was weaving dreams of going to Auckland, living a free and beautiful life in a gorgeous country with mountains and sea. I started interacting with my course coordinator, had my university email id and student login created. Just before submitting my fees, I had to cancel the plan. Once again, it was to save something I could never have saved anyway, and when I look back, I feel fortunate certain things ended for good.

After saying goodbye to my NZ dream, I forgot about going out of the country and started focusing on my health, which had been going downhill for the past 2 years. I went back to the gym, restarted my yoga practice after a good break, and I was happy. I was just self-involved; I had my breakdowns but overall, I was positive. I did things I wanted to, bought myself a beautiful watch, and soon I got to know that my brother was moving to the US. He secured admission in the course he was looking for, and all of a sudden, everything changed. He actually secured admission in 2 universities, one in Asia and the other one in the States, but he chose to go to the US. I was busy helping him plan and pack for his journey while being clueless about mine.

Soon enough, I got the news that I could go to Canada. My application was through, and the option came out of nowhere. I completely ruled out this possibility, a long story but it was a miracle, and I had an option I always wanted but never thought I would get.

My brother was leaving on June 15th, and till that day, I had no clue on what I was going to do. I focused on his journey, and after dropping him off at the airport, I was sitting and thinking what I should do. I started looking for tickets to Canada with no fixed plan in mind. While looking for tickets, I recalled a lady I met in Bali; she was from Toronto, and we are still friends. She was on her solo birthday trip to Bali and gifted herself a luxury experience for her 50th birthday. She flew business class and stayed in a 5-star property (that's where I was staying while volunteering). She explained that journey as the best journey in her 50 years of life, and that business class, the way she explained, I could never forget.

While looking for my Canada ticket, I thought I should gift myself this business class experience now; why wait to live until I am 50! And I booked myself a comfortable business class on a good international flight. I was definitely scared. Canada was far, very far from India. Not that I was scared of traveling alone, but I think in the last few years, I completely forgot who I was, what I was like, and what I was capable of.

I gave myself 10 days to pack and prepare. And in no time, I was in Canada.

Those were my first 6 months in India; I landed here at the end of June, and from that day, things changed. Ghosts from the past followed me till here, and I had dark, sleepless nights, panic attacks, and a really hard time for the initial few months. I used to sit here and wait for my family to get up and talk to them. I never felt this low in my life ever, and I was on my own, all alone for the first time.

I am thankful for how everything unfolded for me here. Soon enough, when I started being myself again, everything just changed. I ended up receiving more than I could think of; I ended up finding a decent apartment in the location I wanted, secured a fine job (I came here with my India job, and worked nights sticking to the India time zone, it was crazy).

I wanted to list down things I tried for the first time in my life in 2023; many things changed for me here, and I have penned down some of them below:

1. Business Class Travel - I think that was the highlight of my year and after traveling business class, I find it hard to look back to economy. My journey was so good; I didn't care about the destination. My luggage was lost, but I was still happy. I was miles away from home in Calgary without luggage, with jet lag, and still smiling. I waited for my luggage for 2 days and started buying the essentials which I claimed back from the airlines. Luckily, I got my luggage back in 8 days.

2. Calgary Stampede - Stampede is like Diwali here. The biggest festival they celebrate. It's a 10-day long event and crazily massive. When I landed here everyone said you came at the wrong time, it's gonna be super crowded and messy in the city and they were not wrong. I ended up loving the entire Stampede vibe and volunteered in the event. Loved every bit of it! Even though my schedule was hectic, I had an Indian job from 9 pm to 7 am and did volunteer work during the daytime. Pheww! Insane!

3. Improv - I always wanted to learn acting, while searching for a school I came across an improv lab and their upcoming course on “Intro to Improv ''. I am an introvert, and doing things like these really scare me, and that was a good enough reason to give it a shot. It was painful for me initially but became easier with every class. Plus point was I managed to secure myself a good scholarship. Thanks to my sales skills.

4. New Cuisines - I ended up trying a lot of new cuisines here. For the first time I tried Thai, Vietnamese, Venezuelan, Mediterranean, Peruvian cuisines here! I really liked Thai & Vietnamese. I am already in love with Mexican & Italian. My list definitely expanded here.

5. New Drinks - Eggnog, I tried for the first time here. I don't know if they used to introduce new coffee seasonal flavors in India, but here I have developed this habit of buying a coffee and walking with it. Because of which I ended up trying many small/big coffee shops here and explored all their seasonal flavors starting with Pumpkin spice latte to Sugar cookie oat latte, which by the way is my favorite now! <3

6. First Snowfall - I have been on many snow treks in India, but here for the first time I saw snow pouring down and I loved it. It was much more beautiful than I expected. I never thought I would experience this alone for the first time, but I did and it was mesmerizing.

7. Banff - Another place I never thought I would experience alone but I did and loved it. I didn't go alone as such but it was not how I visualized it for myself. Anyhow, the experience was beautiful beyond words.

8. Winter hike - In India, I always used to wonder why we climb for 6-7 days, sleep in tents to reach a place so gorgeous, I used to wish for shorter hikes with beautiful views and to come back and sleep in my cozy bed. That wish is fulfilled. Here, you need to walk hardly 10-15 kms (to & fro) to reach a strikingly beautiful place and come back, and another 2-4 hours for reaching the site and coming back to the city. Couldn't have asked for more. Experienced 3 hikes here in the last year! :)

9. Music - This is my favorite; after coming here I wanted to explore better music and clicked on “Iconic 80s hits” playlist on Prime music and there was no looking back. I am in love! This music is just mind-blowing, and I wish I was alive in that era, I wish this was my college days' music! It's just so beautiful, all these songs.. my God! I already am an old soul and I found my old soul music. Of course I am a big fan of Md Rafi & Kishore Kumar, but this playlist is something else. Next will be 70s music once I will get enough of 80s!

Well, this was my year in nutshell. I also tried Kooza for the first time here; it's like a musical circus show which costed me a bomb! :P

I am really grateful for everything; though these days I do feel a lot homesick. I hope I will get better!

Dear God, I love you and am thankful for everything you have done for me; please take good care of my people. Love you! Muah :))

Love Me Like You Do!

Yeah, Calgary loves me equally. Our love is mutual.

When I landed here at the end of June, people used to say, 'Wait for the winters, and you’ll hate Calgary.' Now, in December, people are saying, for the first time in the history of Alberta, December is this warm. Of course, Calgary loves me. Global warming is a myth. :P

Most people from India move to Toronto in a quest for a better life, better opportunities, then live in suburbs and drive every day for hours for work. I don’t think I am meant for that kind of life. I lived it in India, and I was sure that's not how I want to spend my entire life.

I always wanted a small town, peaceful life. Had it been in India, I was sure to relocate to Rishikesh or Himachal after a few years, start my own small business in the mountains, and live a peaceful life away from the big city. A house with a backyard and a kitchen garden, close to the river and mountains. A morning walk in the hills with my coffee and ending my day with a beautiful sunset and a clear sky. It's still my plan, though.

Every time I thought of Canada, it was always Calgary. Much before I got my PR card. I never dreamt of a big city life with the chaos and stress.

Calgary is a perfectly beautiful small city, best of both worlds. People are warm and nice; you can reach anywhere within 20 mins if you have a car. There is a beautiful river in the city, and I can see mountains from my balcony. <3

The only thing I miss here is my family, and the only reason to go back for me will be my people.

Here, no one cares about where you are from, how much you earn, how fluent your English is, what you do for a living, how expensive your car is, or how big your house is or how many gadgets you own. All people care about is how you are doing, what are your hobbies, what music you like, or what you like to do in your free time. And I just love it; living here is like living a dream.

In college, I visited a small village in Himachal for my field trip known as “Junga”; it was a village where every marriage was a love marriage, and I call it the land of love. I thought I would someday go back there and live for a longer period of time. I think I can say the same about Calgary. I feel I live in a city of love, all I see around me is couples, families, and happily married people. I just love it; it makes me smile every time I see an old and happy couple. Something I always thought of as my life goal.

The other day I was sitting in a small Italian restaurant, and I saw an old couple in their 70s; they were celebrating the lady’s birthday with a small candle on the Tiramisu. I was feeling so happy for them that I had to control my tears. Oh God! I so badly wanted to cry! <3

I just love this city; it's like straight from a romantic novel. Novels I used to read and visualize where everything used to be like a beautiful dream. A place where I love sitting in small cozy family-owned coffee shops and sipping my coffee.

The other day I was having dinner with a friend; she was telling me about her dating adventures and then asked me why I'm not into dating apps or giving it a try, and I just didn't know what to say. I think it's difficult for people to understand how having an old soul feels. I just smiled and said it’s not for me, and she said, 'Are you one of those who thinks a charming prince will come and sweep you off your feet?' Well, the truth is, I used to be one of those but not anymore. I think I don’t care anymore. I am just happy being here, eating good food, living my life, reading books, and looking forward to what's next. I think in the last 3 years, for the first time, I feel like I am finding myself back, and I don’t want to lose it for anything. I think after many years I feel at peace.

Well, I think I can write a book on Calgary; it's just something else, and I am full of gratitude to be here.

Dear God, I know you are the best, and I am your favorite girl. Thank you for everything. I love you; please take good care of my people. Muuaah :))"

Damned

I was reading Bukowski this morning and I couldn't help connecting with his mind. It was all.. oh so soulful. Some days, I feel I am another him, other days I am Rumi.

Sometimes I feel scared... Scared of myself. I have seen myself doing things I never imagined I could do in my right mind. Stop eating food for days, stopped talking to people randomly,  leaving my job and just escaping away to random places, and blah blah blah. I can't handle my own mind most of the times!

I feel these days I am unable to manage my thoughts and feeling everything way too much.. this is again weirdly scary. And as a defense mechanism my mind is already plotting a plan which will be again somewhat unexpected... destructive maybe.

I am too old school to be alive in this era. Sometimes, I feel why can't I live like normal people, feeling fewer emotions and not attaching myself to anyone. I hate feeling too much. I feel I have a vulnerable soul, prone to emotional accidents. 

Can you recognize that feeling where you are dying... Feeling like thousand pins stuck in your head at the same time and you are unable to breathe, mostly late at nights and early mornings? Though there is no fixed time for this feeling this takes everything out of me and I can't stop thinking. I don't know if it is a disease! Ah maybe!

I feel I am damned. Maybe doomed. All at the same time. 

I am a happy person but I am an insane emotional fool. I can't get over my own thoughts and I am scared someday I will just do something absolutely crazy. On top of all this, I see dreams which are further destructive for my own self.

Ahh, whatever.

I don't know what all I just wrote. Some random stupid stuff. But I need to write, I badly need to express more. And I can't. And I hate it. 

Oh dear God, I need your help. Seriously. Help help help!

And please take care of my people. Love you.

I will Love You till Eternity!

When I first heard this word 'Eternity' in the context of 'Love', I opened my big hard-cover dictionary to find out its meaning.

At that time, the internet was not that popular and we had one common desktop at home. I am talking about 2006 and I was in my graduation.

I have grown up in a very different set-up. We lived in a small house, a big house in a joint family, celebrating all big-small festivals, birthdays and anniversaries together with homemade delicacies. Always close to my grandparents.

All I have seen and believed is families are meant to be together, during all thick and thin and love stays forever in good and bad times. Money is important for a living but life can be blissful even with less of it.

I have seen my grandpa and grandma growing old together with 75 years of togetherness. And for better or worse, I belong to the same school of thought in the era of temporary everything.

Back during my MBA days, I remember writing a blog post on “How my biggest fear was getting married to a person I am not in Love with”, today my fears are even deeper.

I am shit scared.

A few days back, I met a friend while traveling. She was the wife of my ex-colleague. I still remember the time I met them back in November 2010 and I precisely remember it because we visited Trade Fair together which happens in November every year.

I always thought they were meant to be, perfect for each other. It was a love marriage after 2 years of courtship. And I loved listening to their story, it was my favorite.

When I met her recently, I was shocked to know they are separated. And for the most common reason, the guy cheated on her and asked for the divorce.

It was heart-breaking for me and I couldn’t stop thinking about it.

I don’t know how to express this but I am really scared. It's not the first and only story I know which ended like this.

People usually say I am brave because I travel solo and go on adventures, but, I believe solo travel is easy, real strength lies in surviving these relationship traumas.

It’s easy to travel in any corner of the world knowing that you have someone in your life with you, on whom you can blindly trust, but living in a devastating relationship is the most painful and brave thing ever.

I am really feeling terrified for the past few days for I don’t know what all, maybe because of Venus Retrograde and Taurus moon or I don’t know why.

Dear God, please give me strength. I don’t have too many expectations but please help me in getting rid of the pain I am in. And take care of my people. Muuah.

Bali.

I don’t know if I can ever do justice to this post, for love can never be expressed in words.

All my life I thought, I am a beach person, in fact, I was sure. Then one day after my Rupin trek, I realized I love mountains more than anything and there is no feeling compared to the feeling I have in the mountains.

And eventually, unintentionally, one finely beautiful day, I fell in Love with Bali.

Such a confused creature I am, no less than any Imtiaz Ali’s character. Unknowingly falling for something and one day coming to a conclusion, all my life I lived an illusion.

I hate being emotional. I think all the suffering I have in my life is because of this one trait. But, then, all the beautiful things I enjoy to the core are also because of this. Sometimes, I wonder if people feel even 1% of the way I feel, with even half of its intensity. I can sense every emotion in my blood and bones, to the core of my being. And I hate it. I think life is simple if you are emotionless.

All my life I just kept running away from everything that had a potential of giving me pain, and emotions were on the top of the list. I hate it.

Sorry, coming back to Bali.

Bali was never my love at first sight. 

On 22^nd August’18, I landed in Bali at 10 pm and after standing in a long queue for immigration, luggage, currency and sim card when I finally managed to come out of the airport, I realized, my name placard was missing in the crowd of people.

Super tired, I called up my hotel to ask about the taxi status, on which they had some stupid reason to give and I had to wait for an hour more. After reaching my hotel at 1am, I instantly disliked the room and the rest of my night I spent online, looking for another place to stay. 

My first morning here, I realized my whole body was very badly shivering when I was still in a deep sleep; I managed to open my tired eyes and realized it was a deadly earthquake. Strongest that I have ever felt in my life, I rushed out of my room and thought of Lombok incidence that happened a few days ago. 

Anyhow, I had a bad headache all this while and it was a super scary start of my trip. 

And I was thinking, why the hell I picked Bali for travel. Why in the whole wide world people come here for a honeymoon, why!? I was badly freaked out.

Day 2 in Bali, I changed my hotel and from that moment onward everything magically changed. My second hotel was a beautiful boutique resort a bit away from the main city in the outskirts of Ubud, surrounded by lush green rice fields.

I enjoyed Ubud for 3 days before moving to North Bali where I had an interesting project to handle.

North Bali was a quiet, peaceful, serene and not-so-crowded place with virgin black volcanic sand beaches. No touristy crowd. Absolutely blissful. Perfectly my kinda place.

I loved the sunrises, sunsets, morning evening walks, evenings in open cafes with live classic music, so much to talk about and I have no words to explain. Plus the place I stayed in was one of the best in Bali, sea facing sunrise villa in a beautiful green resort, it couldn’t have been any better for sure. Without a doubt, I lived a dream.

I lived there for 35 days before moving back to Ubud where I spent 10 more days before I moved back to India.

And my India return was another story. My return was already booked with a 3-day long Singapore trip for my Birthday in-between. But as usual, plans are not for me.

2^nd Oct’18, after my Mount Batur climb, I was sitting on a mountain top looking at the beautiful sunrise in Bali. I sensed a strange craving within, I don't know why at that very moment I missed mountains very intensely. And in a fraction of a second, I was dying to go to the Himalayas. As if something was pulling me, a strange force.

I came back to my room and desperately checked all the possibilities available in near future, also, if my India return can be preponed, I could find 2 options but no Bali to Delhi ticket was available. I again checked next morning and found out one ticket option was available, booked it. 

I gave myself one day to unpack Bali and pack for my next adventure. Reached Delhi on 10th late evening and had my train booked for 12th early morning and had no clue how it will happen in-between. 

And it happened.                        

I was leaving Bali with tears in my eyes, but, I was looking forward to my mountain trip. Emotions are always complicated, defying all the logic.

Dear God, thank you for everything, you know I love you. Give me strength and take care of my people. Muuah.

In pursuit of Happiness!

The year is in its second half and going through my own blog I realized I was absolutely lost all this while.

A wise man told me sometime back- “If it happens as per your wish its good, but if it happens otherwise it’s for the best!”

Many things happened this year, unexpectedly good and unexpectedly not-so-good but I think those not-so-good happenings pushed me towards happy and good ones which otherwise were out of the question.

I genuinely believe 'you are exactly where you are supposed to be and what meant to be, always find it's way'.

And I am the one who is too restless to accept the same most of the times even though it's imprinted on my subconscious mind. Ah, my yoga lingo. :P

Happenings so far this year were somewhat like this, I'll start with the first one and moving on to another in the sequence they happened-

January-

1. New Year Celebration- I can't recall how I celebrated my new year but I am sure it was peaceful, nothing crazy. I was with my family, I got up happy, not sleepy nor sad. I was content on Jan 1st and visited the temple in evening. Blissful calm day.

2. Karan Bellani- The guy I met here on BlogSpot 9 years back and my oldest blogger buddy. He was the only guy who promised to be my friend till the end and he kept it. His unexpected death was a shock to me and it taught me a lot. I was unable to believe he is no more when I read it on FB and called him to check multiple times, one day his mom called me back looking at my missed calls in his call log to say “beta, Karan is no more”. He died of ALS, Amyotrophic lateral sclerosis. I don't want to recall anything, I love escaping it.

We met thrice in 9 years, so I convinced myself he is still there in Bombay living his life peacefully. But, Facebook! FB memories keep reminding me of him, the time I visited Bombay and he took days off from his schedule to show me around or when he visited Delhi and I took him to my favorite places. :(

I still remember our walk on the roads of Bombay, at night, though we had a bike we preferred exploring roads on foot, we walked for almost 6 hours aimlessly trying roadside foods and exploring markets, we talked and talked and talked, but, I still wonder he never told me about his ALS!

Rest in Peace, Karan. Bombay will never be the same for me without you.

3. Nag Tibba-

My 1st trip of 2018, I wanted it to be calm, snowy, starry and mountainy. So, I decided to go solo on a short trek near Dehradun known as Nag Tibba. It was a whole different story and a very different experience for me. For the first time I was traveling with all Delhiites (except one Bangalore guy). :P

It was a very short 2-day trek and after day 1 of trekking, the group denied to get up at 5am next morning for the final summit. During our dinner time, in a group, they announced: “that's it, we are not going to get up early for trek tomorrow, it’s enough”. For the first time, I saw trek leader massaging legs and rubbing balm on female trekkers' knees. :P

The night was loud as they played loud music opened liquor bottles and started smoking. It was difficult for me to sleep, but, I managed. I was sure if no one else, at least the Bangalore guy is going for the Summit.

I got up in the morning and to my surprise, many more motivated themselves to drag till the Summit.:P

I can never forget this experience. One good thing was I found a new friend from Bangalore with a thousand things to talk about, all nerdy and geeky. :P

And I promised myself not to go anywhere near Delhi for trekking in the future. 

February-

4. Calcutta trip- 

Another trip to East, the good part about my office was these frequent trips but then they used to be so packed and hectic, I started realizing I no more love traveling. I wanted peace and recreational time. I mean, going to Calcutta and not getting even 10 mins for myself was crazy. Travel is always beautiful though but I need to soak into the beauty of the place which was missing. I reached Calcutta at 4pm for the event which was 7pm, all I could do was taking shower, getting ready for the evening, reaching to the venue, coming back to the luxurious hotel and sleep. Flying back to Delhi next morning! Rushing like crazy!

One good thing was, I was able to finish a book during my in-flight time and skipped my dinner at the event venue to enjoy Bengali sweets at night in my hotel!

5. Grandpa- My grandpa was not keeping well for quite some time and this time it was worsening, every time I used to visit hospital I used to cry after coming back. I still remember that one evening when I went to the ICU with multiple beds and he was on the front bed and I looked at him and couldn’t believe it's him, I looked around to find him but it was him, so weak and pale and unable to move. I went closer and asked him if he could recognize me and he was unable to utter my name.

That was the moment I lost faith in the hospital, I remember he loved being at home no matter how unwell. I came out of ICU and spoke to the doctor and he said grandpa will not survive for many days and he needs to be on dialysis followed by a ventilator, I asked him what are the chances of improvement, on which doctor said survival chances are zero!

I was furious and decided to take him back home.

We arranged a surgical bed, male nurse and a private surgeon and had a big fight with hospital management during his discharge. Anyhow, my grandpa was happy and I could see him improving at home. He used to smile and talk to me though he was unable to eat through his mouth. He used to love home, everything here was picked by him even the designer sofa set and the curtains, I remember taking him to Kirti Nagar to select his favorite designs.

He was doing well but the surgeon said "he can go any moment". I denied to believe. He was improving and I was hopeful until one day he denied to talk to me. He slept for 1 complete day. And the next day He left us. :(

I was unable to believe it and why should I, he is still with me, around me. Reading it all, while I am writing it. 

March-

6. Singapore trip-

My second office trip of the year, and although it was my first ever international trip I was not at all excited, I mean, travel used to be one thing I used to love the most and now it was also failing. After losing interest in my workout routine due to my work schedule, now, I was losing interest in travelling.

This trip was for senior management and I and my one more colleague were going as an exception, and even that exception failed to excite me. :P

I called my boss to say I am not willing to go and if they can cancel my booking, on which she said “you should go and bookings can't be cancelled”. As they say, what’s meant to be find its way.

I landed in Singapore, it was all luxury trip for an Annual Strategy Meet, stay in 5 star hotel, brilliant buffets, dinners at the very best locations like Marina Bay Sands and The Altitude (the highest point in Singapore).

The time I enjoyed the most in Singapore was the day I landed in Singapore and decided to explore it myself by skipping my pre-booked dinner at again some 5 star fine dining property, the best part was my fone was not working.

After everyone left for the dinner, I left my hotel in the evening to roam around on the streets of Singapore. I decided to eat the local food and check out the local flea markets. So much I loved that evening, I bought local chocolates, ate local food and had the best time sitting on the street side looking at the new city, feeling the different air on my face and hair. But of course, I had to pay the price for this freedom, when my boss told me you are not a child, you are here on a work trip and are supposed to be on time and be with the group all the time. She was not very happy about my little adventure. :P

Our routine used to be staying in the conference from 8am till 6pm, listening to the sales agendas and progress of last financial year, getting dressed up by 7pm and going to some luxurious pre-booked venue for dinner with the management.

One evening when I was sitting on the rooftop of “The Altitude”, listening to the live music and cherishing the view of the city lights from the top, I looked up at the sky and the stars. Talking to the stars, they asked me “Are you happy being here, this is so amazing?”

I looked around once again, my boss, her boss and other bosses drinking and laughing and enjoying, it was a beautifully luxurious jail, with fine wine and cheese and the best of dresses people could wear and all those things most of the people dream of and would do anything for. And nothing was wrong with it. But...

But, I could not relate to it, it was not my world. It was not for me. As strange as it may sound, I decided to go back to my hotel. The plan was to stay there by 2-3am but I left around 12.

I loved the overall feel of the city and I loved the luxury, who doesn’t, so I cherished my time in Singapore with the only wish of getting time for myself, it was just unfair to the place. What good is a big bath tub if I can’t take a long rejuvenating bubble bath.

On our last day, I went for a small walk around and bought a few more things before leaving the city. Also, I promised the city to be back soon with all my time. :-)

7. Realisation- 

After coming back from Singapore, I was subconsciously realising this was not what I wanted for myself. I cannot lose these simple joys in life for money. Along with it, there were many more things happening which were killing me within and I was unable to bear it. I needed a break.

April-

8. Contemplation- 

Contemplation happens. And it happens on it’s own, when it’s supposed to be. I realised many things, I was happy but I was in pain. A strange pain I cannot define here. The same pain I was in, 9 years back. And once again history repeated itself. This time I had no friend so close to share with. I needed time for myself..

9. Resignation- 

I needed a break and I took it. I left my job and decided to hibernate. And for the first time, I was not worried about what will happen in my future. This was what I needed exactly at that point of time. A break from my own self. And the future, I was not even thinking about it.

10. Nepal and Everest Base Camp- 

April 17^th was my last working day and on April 20^th, I was in Nepal.

The trip was more about Nepal for me and less about Everest Base Camp, and yes, Rupin Pass still tops the list of my favourite treks.

I went for EBC with my brother, and we started our trek on 22^nd April.. EBC was amazing in terms of views and the experience but it was overly commercialised and very crowded. It was nothing like a trek. It was more about crossing a valley to reach to another guest house sort of crowded place. I will any day prefer Himachal over Nepal for a trek in particular.

Also, I had another “Acute Mountain Sickness” and this time it was much severe than the last time, I felt I am surely going to die this time. :P

More than EBC it was Nepal that we enjoyed, amazing nightlife of Thamel, beautiful temples, streets of Pokhara and a round of Golf at Himalayan Golf course.

Nepal was overall a brilliant experience; we experienced Lukla flight and Chopper ride which was once in a lifetime experience.

I might visit Nepal again for EBC via Gokyo lakes route, but, that’s a farfetched idea. I need to work on my fitness first. :P

Well, I guess it’s enough for now. I am not willing to talk about my next 3 month long hibernation in the mountains.

Dear God, you know what I’ll say. Thank you for everything. I love you. Take care of my people. Muaah. :*