Monday, October 29, 2018

I will Love You till Eternity!



When I first heard this word 'Eternity' in the context of 'Love', I opened my big hard-cover dictionary to find out its meaning.

At that time, the internet was not that popular and we had one common desktop at home. I am talking about 2006 and I was in my graduation.

I have grown up in a very different set-up. We lived in a small house, a big house in a joint family, celebrating all big-small festivals, birthdays and anniversaries together with homemade delicacies. Always close to my grandparents.

All I have seen and believed is families are meant to be together, during all thick and thin and love stays forever in good and bad times. Money is important for a living but life can be blissful even with less of it.

I have seen my grandpa and grandma growing old together with 75 years of togetherness. And for better or worse, I belong to the same school of thought in the era of temporary everything.

Back during my MBA days, I remember writing a blog post on “How my biggest fear was getting married to a person I am not in Love with”, today my fears are even deeper.

I am shit scared.

A few days back, I met a friend while traveling. She was the wife of my ex-colleague. I still remember the time I met them back in November 2010 and I precisely remember it because we visited Trade Fair together which happens in November every year.

I always thought they were meant to be, perfect for each other. It was a love marriage after 2 years of courtship. And I loved listening to their story, it was my favorite.

When I met her recently, I was shocked to know they are separated. And for the most common reason, the guy cheated on her and asked for the divorce.

It was heart-breaking for me and I couldn’t stop thinking about it.

I don’t know how to express this but I am really scared. It's not the first and only story I know which ended like this.

People usually say I am brave because I travel solo and go on adventures, but, I believe solo travel is easy, real strength lies in surviving these relationship traumas.

It’s easy to travel in any corner of the world knowing that you have someone in your life with you, on whom you can blindly trust, but living in a devastating relationship is the most painful and brave thing ever.

I am really feeling terrified for the past few days for I don’t know what all, maybe because of Venus Retrograde and Taurus moon or I don’t know why.

Dear God, please give me strength. I don’t have too many expectations but please help me in getting rid of the pain I am in. And take care of my people. Muuah.

4 comments:

Sonal Garg said...

Beautiful... U r a strong person and a role model for many out there; specially me... to peruse ones own dreams being a girl is next to impossible but u have made this happen... Hats off to u..

Unknown said...

It's your kindness, you are way more stronger than me.

Anonymous said...

Hey!!
You are brave. Being brave does not mean travelling solo or going for adventures but it means going beyond your fear. All your blog posts tell me that you are brave.

You would be scared, but once you take that step, you manage and achieve it. Don't look at ppl around you, because they are not you.

Every fear will go away as you move ahead in life.

All the best!!!

Deepika said...

@Anonymous Sometimes, its not about us. Like the girl in this case, she was always deeply in love and even managed with him even after the guy cheated on her and he did it twice. And then had a courage to ask for divorce.

People are not me, I am not like them. Its more of a curse than a blessing. Because what hardships normally people survive/manage comes to me as disasters and only I know what all I struggle through. And it's scarier than it sounds.

And my blog posts tell nothing about me.

Thanks for dropping by. Stay blessed.