I am Back!

Lately, I realized my past few posts were inclined towards negativity…  That’s so not me!

I never even realized when my vibrant positive blog went inside the tunnel of darkness… No no no! That’s just not cool!

My love Pearl, I m really sorry dear for being such a dumb emo girl... :P

I m God’s favorite… I can’t be so sad…. No, I just can’t afford to be... there are troubles, but that’s how a Disney Movie is scripted…. A princess fights never cribs!

No one can win the battle without problems and difficulties… And problems are highest when something good is destined to happen…  As they say, “The darkest Hour is just before the dawn”

So, here I am… pulling myself back from the darkness towards the ray of light…..

Recently, I came across very interesting people & many amazing things happened but the irony is I cannot mention them here publicly as of now…. Although, I’ll come up with it very soon…. I am more than excited to share!

Life is going good and I can actually feel some difference in my mental set up… I feel…. I m more intelligent now… LOL :D

Jokes apart, on a serious note, yes… I have changed a bit for better… but, I still need to catch up with my fitness routine…

I watched almost all new movies… Loved Ranbir in “Yeh Jawani Hai Deewani”…. Movie-wise I liked “Fukre”…. Hated “Raanjhana” to the core!

It’s being long since I've tried cooking something new in kitchen…. Luckily, my coming weekend will be free so I’ll try my hands on something creative in kitchen…. :D

Missing my friends a lot… I feel miserable at times when I am not able to talk to them or see them…

Let see, how things will shape in coming sometime…. I am looking forward for something major to happen… ;-)

God, you are needed… badly needed… No matter wherever you are… whatever you are doing… I need you…. Pleeeaaaase…. :-)

Please God… Help me…. And.. yes, I am sorry for not listening to you.. I am in trouble now and I seriously need you… And I know you'll certainly be there as always.... 

Take care of my loved ones… I Love you… Muaah…. :-))

I wish...

I wish I could fly...
I wish I could be invisible...
I wish I could turn back time..
I wish to do so much in life...


I wish.... I wish to be a person without any wishes..!

They say "Everything that is done in the World is done by Hope".. And with every hope comes a wish to turn that hope into a reality...

No matter how old I'll ever be... I know.. I will be a person who'll always believe in miracles and will always be in love with Disney movies.

Sometimes, I feel I wish so much in life... So many desires and hopes I have inside me... it makes me feel restless & fidgety.. I try to run from something unknown... 

Although, I know every human being wishes something or the other.. and if our one wish is fulfilled we are ready with more wishes.. 

I don't know how intensely people wish things but I know about myself... When I am into something.. I am into it... I wish it I want it and unless I get it I remain restless... I understand all wishes can't come true... God has his own limitations and targets depends upon the 'Karma' thing... But, at times I find it super difficult to come out of the situations..

May be its a side effect of being ambitious or crazy or black coffee or simply being me...!!

Today, I wish so many things... that I feel lost.. I ask myself what am I doing today.... Is this the right path to walk upon...appropriate direction to walk into... It makes feel uneasy... May be I am too impatient!

Well.. No matter whatever I wish... My first and last wish will always be 'to remain happy' and I can never be happy unless my people are happy.... 

I don't know... What all I am writing... :P

Anyhow, right now I wish to sleep.. but lets see till when my coffee can stop me from fulfilling my this wish...

Good night God... Love you... :-)

Loving My Life! :-)

I dunno what really compelled me to write this post but anyways I am glad to be back here...

Life is being dynamic and eventful... Till last year I used to say I am not happy with my Job because of whatever reasons... I also had a fear in my mind that leaving it might leave me with regrets as the future is always uncertain... But honestly, I am proud to say that it was my best decision of the year to resign from that place.

As far as my present is concerned, touch-wood, I am happy :-)

Yes, life is full of ups and downs, successes and failures... surrounded by people who make you or break you.... Politics.... dirty games and so on.. But, whatever it may be I believe everything in life happens for a reason... Its good or bad is decided by the outlook we carry... 

It will be unfair if I'll say- I hate it when people around me play unfair games and make my life even more complicated.... I wish I could punch them hard on their face..

I would rather say- Yes, I do hate the dirt around but I am learning to fight for it... As life can not be a piece of cake every time, so meeting such people prepares me to fight for what is right and enable me to learn more about humans. (Of course, I'll always be an Anthropologist) ;-)

Well, no regrets from life... Although, I do miss my first job a lot... May be because I had real good people around me whom I'll cherish for the rest of my life... And yes, it was like my first love.. And deserves a special corner in my heart..

New in life is nothing much.... Or I would say so much that I am unable to gather it and jot it down.. ;-)

I keep meeting new people daily.. And like it... I am still a kid without any change so far in my thought processes... So, that ways I do face problems... Specially by trusting wrong people most of the times.. but that is again an integral part of life.. So, no complaints.

Recently, I spent hell lot of money on shopping... I purchased everything- clothes, shoes, bags, accessories, gifts and so on.... Last year, I used to feel that some part of me was not living or rather say was dead/dormant... Now, I feel... I can sense it... I am the same Deepika that I used be 2 years ago... :D

I feel things, good and bad... I m loving shopping again...  I love meeting my old pals.... Hanging out... I can feel feelings... praise music... appreciate beauty... And, I watch every interesting movie on its release weekend without a fail... I cherish my life... I love being busy... I love myself... I love my people.. I am in love with my life....

The only thing drastically changed is my frequency of writing blogs.. Many times I start with something then leave it in-between... May be I am too confused what all to write and what not....
But.. I'll try to write more as it helps me a lot personally to figure out what I am feeling... I can express well in words... in my mind emotions and thoughts are very vague and random... I can compile them in a post and analyse... :))

I'll end it here now, once again.. Thank You dear God... for everything you gave me... forgive me for the bad things I do intentionally/unintentionally.... I'll always be your favorite kid who will never do any wrong to anyone knowingly.. Please be there on my side and take care of my loved ones... Love you.. Muaah.. :-)

I am BACK!! :-)

Yayy!! I am back... Life is being great and eventful... Year started on a brilliant note when one good day I decided to resign from my bloody job! And that good day was in first week on January... ;-)

Well.. I know many of us think and just think about doing the same but they bear with the situations till the time they can... And I also stretched it till the time I could have... Then I decided to fight for myself and try to be in better place....

Phewww.... After resign, I felt like a free bird... repaired myself and gained back my self confidence... After resting for 2-3 days I started my real job! That was looking for a good place to work with interesting work.. 

In quest for the same I tried various ways.. I updated my CV on various job portals... Personally posted CV in the career section of good companies where I was interested and used Linkedin wisely.... All these efforts were not in vain.... After thoughtful consideration, I gave 4 interviews and after some wait I am really proud to say that I was selected in all 4... :D this boosted my confidence level even more.... After analyzing all the options I picked up a job and finally joined it in February second week...

Well... I am glad today that I decided to fight for better life... And today I feel good... I feel one should not waste time in doing something they don't like... We got one life... We have all the right to choose what to do... I understand although sometimes we are struck in certain situations which compel us to be in places we never intended to be... But honestly, one should always fight for what they deserve! As we never know where may God listen to us and change things for betterment...

Thank you once again God... I love you.... Thank you again for making me feel blessed again :D Muaah.. As expected... the time of resignation shocked me I saw the most dirtiest faces I ever imagined... Lets not spoil Pearl by writing about all that nonsense... ;-)

Yes, I'll be back!

Life!!!... a word we often talk about.. Very dynamic.. Unexpected.... it brings different shades... Light & Dark.. Bright & Dull....whatever it might be... but one thing I always wanna carry on with is- blogging.... No matter which shade is dominating my present... I would always like to express myself in the best possible nearest to positivity shade...

Almost 3 years back, when I started blogging... I was overexcited about everything in life... full of positivity and high energy... A girl who always wanted to see happiness in every little thing & was optimistic about its every single happening... People read what she wrote and she read what people said... Sometimes it was about her thought process.. sometimes about life & learnings.. Sometimes it was just like jotting down points in a diary... Ah! it feels so good to think about the good past... :-)

I have gone through some serious situations and troubles in these 3 years... but life has something to teach always... I had some of the best moments as well... I fought with God quite often.. But never blamed him.... Pearl introduced me to some really nice people.... I had a very different life when I started writing Pearl and at present its different.... I wont say its better or less than what I had... as they say we always miss good things about past... bad things vanish... So even if it was tough time I remember only good things.. And I am kinda sure even though my present is not so perfect.... I know tomorrow when I'll think.. I'll certainly have something good to think about it....

I don't know.. In which direction I am writing.... May be its just a complicated state of my mind... And I wanna jot down whatever i have in my mind... without going into the details... Anyways... Let me think if something good happened lately... Umm.. ya... I watched Rockstar on its release date after waiting for its release for sooo long... Imtiaz's 3rd movie in a row which I watched on its release date..... Explored some new places.... Experienced something which was not good but important for my learning.... (I call such experiences as reality check)... When you are in mid of a bad dream its a bliss to be pinched by someone... I guess am waiting for that pinch :P

Overall, if I rate... Life is Good & I am positive... And I am sure I'll be back... Eagerly waiting for my Pearl's birthday... :-)

God, thanks for being there... I love you... :-)

Self Analysis

“I was born as a human…. I wanna die as a human…. “
Yesterday on 15th August I completed 6 months in my current job… And today I took a day off from work.. I need to analyze…. What I have learnt…. What has happened in these 6 months…. My decisions…. My experience…. Level of satisfaction….. After devoting six months at least I deserve to understand what all is happening…. What can be my future….. And How I can shape my coming life in a better way…

Our first job not necessary makes us realize what we really wanna do in future…. But it does make us realize what we don’t wanna do in coming time…..

In the morning I was not feeling very good…. I decided to stay back and give myself a day to rethink on what I am doing…. So here I am starting my day with something I really love to do….. BLOGGING!

Let me start with the analysis…. Similar to SWOT, I’ll do PNWW of my job….. i.e., Positive-Negative-Why should I continue-Why I shouldn’t… And I’ll try to analyze the positive aspects of my work….. Negative ones…. What I am learning today and what are the opportunities here for me in coming time…..

Positive-
- I am improving my driving skills since I drive for 5-6 hours daily
- I am developing patience by handling all sort of clients
- I am learning how to be a machine and give constant numbers daily… and faults are not acceptable :P
- I am learning how tough life can be even after trying so hard to make it good and comfortable by dedicating all your life studying and spending hard earned money of your parents….
- I have met altogether a different set of people who are well adjusted in such scenario from past 4-5 years….. May be the time when they joined the organization conditions were not that bad… And it’s really interesting to study them… I call them “A machine with a brain”….
- I have realized how badly I loved my internship and my subject ‘Anthropology’….
- I am learning the role of HR as well by analyzing what is required on their part and what they are doing… ( I have done a SWOT analysis n them as well )
- I am learning a lot in every sense by observing a very different side of humans….
- Although being very honest, here I have met few real good people whom I admire a lot…. In terms of their PR skills, perfection in communication, dedication, diplomacy, team management skills…. It’s truly worth appreciating.
- I wanna be an entrepreneur and these learnings are teaching me what not to do in my own business.

Negatives-
- Ummm…. Aaa…. Hmmm….. I guess every negative thing is also learning….. So that ways I can say…. It’s good for me as I am learning from it…. So more or less it’s again positive! No regrets honestly! :D

Why should I continue?
- To learn more about this different class of people
- To become a thick skinned human ( I can’t be a machine & thats for sure)
- To gain work experience (although there is no point in gaining something you can’t use)
- To earn money unless I get a job I really wanna do.(One reason of not switching my job is I don’t wanna go in another similar kinda job which will again give me dissatisfaction and frustration.)

Why I shouldn’t continue?
- No time for myself, family & friends
- No time for gym & blog, no weekends
- No personal satisfaction
- No personal growth
- No dignity… huh

Although whatever I earn I spend on my installments and my car :P…. So anyhow I am only able to pay my installments of education loan from my salary and nothing else… :P

I still remember the day when I gave my interview for the job… I was so excited….. So positive and full of enthusiasm and I was pretty sure I’ll do it for at least 2 years….. Learning is a gradual process….. And then I’ll start with my business….. And now how things have changed….. I really wish I could do something good for the company… I always treated it as my own.. but it never treated employees as its own…. Anyhow you can’t change the world….

I just want myself back….. As someone told me I should always smile….. As our smile is reason for many others to smile….. :D

And I believe one should never give up…. No matter how difficult the situation may be…… tough times reveal the real you….. And if things are not the way you want them to be…. It’s time to fight back!

I guess zyada ho gaya…. He he he…. But I am feeling happy…… :D

Love you God….. I know you are there for me! Mwuaah :)))

God's favorite Girl :-)

Time is moving pretty fast…..Half of my 3rd semester is already over just like that…. Enjoying…. Having fun….. Exploring new opportunities….. And with time the fire within me is growing stronger… and deep… More I am moving forward more I am wishing to achieve everything…. My life before 1 year was different….

I had an ambition since I was in school and I knew I’ll do something good…. I was precise about my career path since my school time… in class 9th I wanted to be an Archaeologist…. But my love for science pushed me towards science stream….. That time I wished to be an engineer…. Since I was good in Biology my teacher used to praise me a lot and I was inclined towards medical…. But from within I knew I’ll never go for human-dissection so medical field never dominated my mind…. But yes I was throughout a topper in literature….. So when my result was declared my English teacher very hopefully and happily suggested me that I should do Mass Communication or English honors…. But something else was destined for me…. I gave all entrances…. Medical and Mass communication and luckily I got selected in both but none of the colleges were of my choice…..

Before I could have compromised I have got an opportunity to go for Anthropology honors which was a perfect blend of everything- Genetics, Medical, forensic, Archaeology, Social Anthropology, Practical fieldwork and required good writing skills…. And the best part Hansraj College… I am still thankful to God for choosing such a wonderful thing for me…. Yes! it was chosen by God…. Entirely by Him… I nowhere… never… asked Him for this… And I was blaming Him for not giving me Mass communication college of my choice of course I was not interested in medical… I gave its entrance just for the sake of it…

Entered into the college life…. It was beautiful and different…. A free life….. Independence of doing whatever… no uniform…. No boundaries….. No pressure…. A free bird…. Flying high…. Learned lessons of life….. Tried every stupid thing with friends…. Loved every damn bit of my graduation life and for the first two years of my graduation I was sure of doing M.Sc. in Anthropology…. But in final year a major change in my life turned me towards MBA…. I was so motivated by it that I knew I’ll do MBA… my friends were taking coaching for MBA entrance exams and I just thought of it! I wasn’t sure of cracking entrance exam and further stages…. And then I was restricted from giving CAT due to certain practical evaluation in college which was mandatory for clearing final year… Things were not coming easy…. But luckily I cleared the only entrance exam I gave and its further stages too….. Here again I’ll give the credit to God and of course my family who always supported me in my every damn decision…. No matter what!

M a driven person… driven by will power and passion…. And I know God is there for me…. The best thing He gave me is my family…. And people around me…. I am really a *Blessed gal*… :)

I know God I blame You at times….. Emotionally blackmail You by shedding tears…. Whenever things don’t go my way I shout at You… complain…. But trust me I really love You and have complete faith in You…. From within I know You won’t do any wrong to me…. And I know each time You show me WHY You do not listen to me… I know am still your li’l kid who is too reluctant to grow up…. And I know that You still love me that way…. :D…..
You always choose THE BEST for me…. And God.. To tell You the truth… I am loving it ;)

And I know… that You know…. What I am waiting for now…. *wink wink* :D
Love you :-) :-)