Monday, November 4, 2019

Mindful Thoughtlessness,Thoughtful Mindlessness


It's not that I didn't miss you in the past year, I did and I wrote but it just didn't make it to the blog.

I have never been more mindless. I am blank than ever. My mind crosses more than a thousand thoughts every day. The things I decide in the morning sounds obsolete by the same evening and anything I think late at night sink away with the sunrise. But I know that's how I have become lately. This is some other form of mental illness. Mindlessness but peace. Another dimension. Different vibration.

It's hard to say anything, so I don't say anything. It's funny how stupid I find it, every time I write something. 

My dreams are weirder than ever. Crazy funny terrible terrific dreams. I wait for the night to begin my journey into my 'dreamworld', and my night usually never begins before morning. Well.

Sleeplessness. I don't know from when I started having sleepless nights, maybe from the day I stopped working out. It's all upside down. I don't know what's real anymore.

I wanted to mark my presence here. This month I am completing 10 years with Pearl. Though I know, when I will read this post... I will refuse to admit... it was my thoughts ruling it. Well.

Confused. Mindless. Funny. Stupid. Me.

Anyway. It's time to say goodbye. I will try to write again, something, something better. Maybe. Some other day.

Thank you, dear God, thank you for everything.