I realized it's been more than a year since I wrote anything, and lately, I’ve noticed how anxious I feel in the month of February. I’ve started noticing these patterns that I go through year after year, even though I try to break them. Certain things in my life just seem to be on auto-mode.
Every time I experience this mix feeling of anxiety and excitement, I choose excitement. But this time, I’m not sure, and the anxiety is taking over me.
Last year, when I visited India, I felt anxious and scared. I knew I would miss the city and my friends, but this time it’s different. I know I’ll miss the city and my friends, but there’s something unknown I feel like I’ll miss. It’s a strange feeling—like I’m leaving behind something I feel deeply connected to. I know I’m in love with this place, but I’m just feeling a little more stressed about it.
I’m really excited to see my family, and I know they need me there right now. I’m looking forward to it... but I don’t know how to explain this strange feeling.
Even when I first thought about moving to Canada, I never imagined I’d end up in Calgary. It was serendipity for me. The city has given me so much more than I ever expected. It has mended my broken heart, putting it back together as if nothing ever happened. Is that even realistically possible? Yes, it is—almost like magic.
I never thought I’d feel the way I do today. God works in mysterious ways, and I’m just so thankful and full of gratitude.
I’m already looking forward to coming back here and doing the things I want to. My Calgary 3.0... Is that weird? I don’t know. I’m just in love. This feeling is amazing, and I’m completely sinking into it.
I love you, Calgary. Thank you, God, for this gift. I love you. Muaah.
