New Month, New Targets! :-D

I am never generally excited about the month of May... But this time I am... Reasons are many..

First one is I'll be getting my first Salary in the new company.. Second one is I'll be getting Salary after 5 long months :P...

So, I have my targets set for this month.. I rarely set such targets for myself... But why should office only rule my life... by giving unrealistic targets when I can actually have great fun by giving myself some realistic personal exciting targets :-))

So, to begin with of course after getting my first salary I'll buy 3 phones on EMI... 2 for brothers, one for me... they have already decided which one they need and waiting for it, though, I am still super confused :'(... But anyhow, I'll make up my mind in 2-3 days... 

Second is Swimming... Summers are best time to spend time in water... So, I have to begin with my swimming classes.. Dance classes I'll only start after swimming... I don't wanna take so much on me with office which I'll have to miss.. 

Thirdly, I have to start with " wrist watch collection" & contribute towards my "Goa collection".. Though this month I'll be only buying the box for 10 watches :P... but that's only the beginning...

And last but not the least, I have to restart with my savings... As I have spent almost 50% of what I saved in last 5 salary-less months... But no regrets... that is what savings are meant for... The best utilization of a reserve is when you truly need it... :-) Although, I treat my wants also as my needs as long as I can.. :P

And yes, yesterday I met an inspirational person.. So, I also look for a new workplace on a serious note.. That's what I thought for myself when I started with my this job... So, the time is here.. Honeymoon period is coming to an end and I'll begin my search this month.. 

It will be great if I could loose some weight too... but not a target for this month... The target is to regain my health which is at a toss... I am eating out a lot... I need to control it... 

I have to get in touch with my old people... And repair my social life as well...

I think I have jotted down almost all major things decided... Now, one more task is to read this post every Monday to remind myself what I am supposed to do, and writing more posts on each accomplishment :P

God, of course you are needed to keep a check where I am going... And I am sure you will! Love you :-))

I dream of Goa! :D

When white waves come towards me i feel a pull.. I feel they are calling me desperatly to go inside them.. And i just love the touch of that water on my feet.. I wish to sit there for hours... Listening the sound of waves in peace... Its mesmerizing...

I so wanna go to Goa that i dream of it every now n then... I often see sea in my dreams... But i rarely able to touch it :'(

Whenever i go for shopping and check out stuff most of the things i cant wear here in Delhi i buy and keep in my Goa collection... :-)

Yes, I have my Goa collection, and have to start with my Bora bora & Disneyland collection too... Though disneyland collection i have already started... Since, they are still long term plans... Atleast 3 years I have less focus on buying things for them... But Goa i wanna do this year.. So i wanna be all prepared for it... :D

Have to save money as well.. From next month I am gonna start with my savings fr Goa.. I wanna live Goa my style.. Wish to sense it.. The best of it.. Who says it cant be enjoyed alone.. But yes, if u r with your special one or close friends happiness multiplies... :-)

So, in Goa collection i have to buy beach dresses, i already have evening dresses though i have to buy a long dress.. 3 are enough i guess.. Will buy more shorts... 2 I already have.. Yes, I have to buy good tshirts... I also need a superman tshirt (superman wala traditional jhintak blue) :D... Shades.. Colorful plastic/rubber chappals.. Arey haan... Anklets bhi... Of different colours... Ear studs.. Small ones red and other bright colors.. Have so much to buy... Yayy yayy.. I am happy... As if m going today :-P

I dont wanna go Goa without learning swimming this time... So i have already selected a swimsuit which I ll pick before landing in Goa...

Wow!! Goa...!!! :D

Ohh.. I also have to start gymming.. Goa without fitness wil not be happening.. I also wana try casinos this time.. I have never been there...

I always thought of a birthday night at beach...  And arranging a yummiest cake cutting thing with champagne on the beach at 12 midnight.. And of course my favorite food.. :-P.. funny me.. ;-)

Goa is dream.. Which i wanna live not just once but many times in my life... Each time a new experience altogether...

People enjoy Goa... I wanna sense Goa... Feel it... The feel of that place... Feel of sea and greenery...  I wanna capture it in my cam... And in my best of memories... 

God.. Please grant my wish... I'll take you with me.. ;-)

Love you.. And thanks for everything... :-)

Discovering Myself!

I never thought a short weekend trip can give me so much to think about.. So much peace and calmness inside...

It was an unexpected trip... A trip to Rishikesh..

I dunno.. what connection I have with water.. It washes away my pain & impurities and I feel I m born again... whether its rain from the dense clouds or a deep cold river of Ganges... :-)

As I said, it was unexpected, my friend called up in the afternoon around 3, 

She- Are we going?

Me- Yes

She- Pakka na, cancel mat kariyo, I'll see you at bus stop.. 

Me- haan haan.. dont worry I'll be there...

We took a random bus to reach Rishikesh... which was booked online at the last moment along with the resort...

We boarded in that dirty bus around 9pm, and for first time I realized how badly I missed travelling in train, which I always used to hate... 

Journey began, I was up all night... staring at the darkness outside the window... Night was long... we reached there with the sunrise.. and started moving towards our resort... it was small, beautiful and very serene... The view from the terrace was mind blowing.. Pure delight for my eyes...

It was like.. I reached in an another world in just one night.. the feel was so amazing.. the cold breeze... that poetic beautiful river flowing through mountains... It had an impact on me.. as if something is going inside my skin and touching my soul... healing it slowly... I was lost in the beauty of nature... I missed my camera very badly... 

The moment we entered inside our room, it started raining... Wow sight it was... Sea.. mountains... and rain.. I couldn't have asked for more.. We quickly got ready.. ate light breakfast and moved towards our small truck kinda vehicle which was waiting for us... we carried our boat on the truck and started towards river for rafting in the drizzling rain and awesome breeze...

We started rafting around 10am.. the pleasure which water gives me is impossible to compose in words... Sometimes I feel.. I was meant to be a water animal but by mistake born on land :P... 

The touch of nature's water touches my soul deep inside... Something, I cant get anywhere else... Its gives me a pleasure no one can think of...

In the mid river, I asked the coach-

Me- Will I sink, If i'll jump in water?

Coach- No, you are wearing a life jacket!

Me- Sure?

Coach- Yeah, still we are here for your safety.

SPLASH! And I was in water! 

Gosh!! It was an immense pleasure...Like I was in heaven.. I cant describe it... Water is a healer... It was like.. it changed something in me... It washed off my wounds & scars... I was just floating in water like a dead fish... And it was a real life... Real feel that I was alive!

I can still sense that feel, while writing it here... its giving me goosebumps.. 

3 hours in water were like 3 seconds... I never realized and we covered 16kms... 

Unwillingly, I came out of our boat.... and was trying to understand what just happened inside me...

I moved towards resort... lost in myself... reached room.. took bath.. had lunch and we went out to book our bus for Delhi... Got tickets...

We came back and sat on terrace for dunno how long... just enjoying the view and feeling the breeze... 

Came back in room and I don't really remember when I felt asleep... That sleep was different.. So so deep... So relaxing.. I dunno how long or short that night was.. I got up @7am with my alarm... And we got ready for our bus... We took bus @10am... and by evening we were home... 

It was an experience of a lifetime... people say they go for rafting and enjoy... I don't know whether they all go through all what I have experienced... It touched me deep within and had changed some part of me... Life is truly miraculous... amazingly BEAUTIFUL.. And water is MAGICAL...!

God :-)))) Love you for creating water and... of course! my people! :-)

Life is always Amazing!

:-)

Yes, its a masterpiece of nature.... Its amazing everyday...!

We often crib and complain about bad happenings in our lives... but what is the fun if there are no ups & downs.. How can a person enjoy a sight of a beautiful blue sea without experiencing the sadness of a dead desert... Desert reminds me of dessert and I am hungry :P

Anyhow.. You never know where you find what... We can find life in a dead shell.... Life is full of surprises.. you can never predict what future holds for you :-)

Recent example from my life is my new workplace.. I always met people who said banks are the worst places to work... And i always had this phobia of working in a bank.. In fact, I never used to go for an interview if company used to be a bank, no matter how good... This new bank I joined was also not my first choice.. i joined it without much of enthusiasm.. I had my own reasons.. For me it was like an arranged marriage where I had to marry without knowing anything about a guy just because I was getting old sitting at home :P... and the only reason of this negative image was the opinion i used to carry from people...

But trust me.. this place amazed me... Each day is new here.. with something new... I am actually falling in love with it... Now, I believe I somewhat understand how people fall in love even after arranged marriage :-)... You explore... you learn.. you accept the person as they are.. you appreciate... You start loving small things... that's how you begin...

My first day in the company was somewhat disastrous... It rained very heavily.. And i was all soaked in cold water when i entered in the office... Shivering.. And praying to get free on time so that i can leave as I was feeling cold... Then I got to know that my boss forgot about my joining date and he was on leave :P... day moved forward with mixed happenings... I dint like it much... 

Next 2 days were somewhat boring... Then I met 'A', my colleague... A funny, happy-go-lucky kinda guy.. on first day of our meeting we dint talk much.. but we developed comfort in 2-3 days of interaction... I developed interest in the profile and product plus 'A' was there to make me laugh.. Life becomes easier when someone is there... 

In a week's time boss nominated me & 'A' for a short product training... which was in some village.. We got late on the first day of training.. Though some disasters do happened there as people there carried a very different mindset... We still managed to enjoy our training along with the learning...

Coming back to office... Another '6-day' training was lined up... And we were waiting for it eagerly... days passed and training began... We met many new people there... since, this training was residential... we got ample time to interact with people... 

This training was too good... I used to play badminton with people and discovered I can still play well... We all used to sit and talk till late evenings about banking, financial products and live case studies... Since, all were from banking background except me.... I got to learn a lot from them.. It was superb..

People in banks are very different... They are to-the-point, precise, very clear, serious, focused, clear and respectful... They wont make you feel like they are hitting on you because you are a female colleague or talking double meaning stuff.. they are straight forward and decent. I really love being in their company... there is a sense of protection always... Like they understand that they also have sister and mother at home :-)

6-day training got over, I made few friends and moved towards my home... When I joined office after training I was different... I loved being there... I had less concerns about how dirty and small the office room is... or there are no chairs to sit... All what mattered was I was in a place where people were realistic.. Involved in themselves, least bothered about what you are up-to... Its a fast life here... No one has time to bother about where you are going or what you are wearing.. 

Say Hi, Smile and begin... That's how it is!

I somewhat appreciate my boss a lot, he is a guy rare to find... too aggressive, polished, prompt and cool... Involved in his life and our numbers.... No monkey business... no calling every minute to ask where are you or what you are up to.. 

Though right now my attendance system is not started yet, so, m still cherishing my honeymoon period... I daily go to office with equal enthusiasm and look forward to do things I wish to do... I have so much to catch up with... Running, Swimming, Dancing, Shopping, Investment, Buying phone, Preparations for GOA, Savings for Bora Bora... Phewww.... Long long list I have to pursue :-)

While doing all this... I miss someone badly... But at times in life we need to leave certain people for their happiness... So, if your absence is gift for someone... Give them and carry on... 

Life is full of surprises... All we need is to take a step ahead and start walking... Till the time we'll go out... we never know how it could turn out to be... 

God ji, thank you so much for everything... Your li'l favorite kid loves you lot... take care of my people... Love you... Muuuuaaaah :-)))

Give it TIME :-)

Time.... its precious.. very precious... it flies.. but there are phases in life where its very difficult to pass and survive through it... And those moments are the worst where we just wait for the time to pass away...

Certain moments are so deadly that we wish we could have a fast forward button in life and just press that to move on... Such times comes in everybody's life.. They are called testing times... where we actually realize the value of our people who are close to us.. Those who are not there for you may not always be wrong... we may not know their part of story why they are unavailable... Anyhow time never stops for anybody but life sometimes does...

Life... Wow! its  a definition which changes for us every next moment... it teaches us so much... It keeps changing... e.g., I said its beautiful at one point.. at the other it was eventful... then the next moment it was adventurous... So, life is the most difficult word to define... The most meaningless yet the most meaningful word.. 

People say who give up their lives are cowards... I don't agree to that... dying is equally difficult or even more..

Running away... escaping... are still easier but to face life or to end life are two extremes... Being Alive and facing it, I personally believe is the most difficult in tough situations!

In recent past, one of my close friend was going through a break-up.. where she was cheated by a guy.. I know how difficult it can be for somebody who is emotionally so badly attached... every moment is just impossible to survive.. physical pains are far more easier to deal with.. but internal wounds kill you each second... with every damn breath...

"Give it time" its easier said than done because its only the time which one just cant give... patience... mental strength... physical caliber all goes in vain... negativity attracts... mental instability comes... no hunger, no thirst, no sleep, no focus forget about positivity!

Heart-break is the worst thing to deal with... It makes one feel weak, really weak.. mentally and physically... the self worth goes to zero when a person is rejected by someone... these accidents are realities of life... which not only shows us ground but bury us inside it so deep.. that we name it as depression... from where it is a real brave task to come out and bounce back... that's the real test of all your will and strength...

But, the moment you realize you are the best and deserve all your love for yourself which you were wasting on wrong person... you understand that the one who left you was not worthy enough... with that realization comes a super-power inside which makes you a new person... Its a rebirth actually... rediscovering your own self...  its like in the same life you are born again... A complete NEW you... with immense strength and power... unbeatable... Invincible!

Stronger the pain you carry inside you harder the person you become... So, if you feel you are going through the worst pain of your life... get ready to be the best.. Something you never thought of!

As they say time is the best healer.. It heals almost everything.... today my friend is also fine... yes, it took her time... but now she is recovering well... time does heal everything.. 

These internal wounds are somewhat similar to external ones in one thing... they both take their own time to recover... no matter what you do... whichever medicine you take... medicines can fasten the process of cure but it takes its own minimum predefined time to heal... 

These all pains teaches us- "what cannot kill us, makes us stronger.." These are the lessons of life... that if you are not wrong still you can be treated badly... Not everybody is same... people are different... practical.. rational... run on logic... they have motives even behind emotions... Such cheaters makes emotional people stronger... sometimes even stone strong.. they makes one realize that there are no buyers for your tears.. Its a practical world and there is no place for emotional fools..

In a way, I would say its good.. these instances teaches a person the lessons which people might gain in years or even may not... they makes one very strong emotionless or at least they teaches how to create a shell around you for further protection!

God, you made a beautiful world... but you made thorns to protect roses... then why there aren't any thorns with emotional people to hurt the cheaters! I need an answer for this.. 

Love you God.. please take care of my people.. Muuaaaaah :))

Learn. Swim. Move!

Its my longing desire now to learn swimming... I dream of it every night in my sleep... I dream of it with open eyes...

Yes, i am making an effort too to begin with it... But I m so much into the thought that I have started relating swimming to everything else I do..

For say my job.. I have recently joined this new organisation which is a different industry... I am now in Banking from a Media background... So, things are very different here...

I have always heard people saying banking is very difficult and boring... Its toughest place to work for a sales person... Well, no comments on their mindset.. But, I believe for a person who loves to work hard, earn money and grow professionally nothing is better than banking.. Its no jazz.. No cloud.. No fooling around... Its a REAL GROUND!

Now, since my mind is preoccupied with swimming and  new work place I tend to link them both.. :-)
I really visualize a pool where i m thrown to learn swimming and all my colleagues are expert swimmers enjoying the dive.. Some are comparatively new but since they are from banking industry they know how to swim... For them only this pool is new.. But for me I don't know how to swim...

Now, the challenge is training... Since, at mid senior level 98% of new joinees come from banking industry only.. The training is also imparted by keeping that in mind... It is similar to my MBA course where I was from B.Sc background and accounts & economics were taught by keeping in mind the commerce background people.. It becomes a real struggle when you have to learn from very basics where experts are competing with you.. 
Now, similarly, I have been given instructions here too but not taught practically how to swim.. All i m trying to do it disturbing every swimmer crossing around to learn the technique where they all are very busy in focusing on their task... No one is supposed to bother why i have got so many questions regarding every new thing... May be because i need to know it.. Why & how its happening... I am moving my myself in the pool but techniques are something I still need to learn & master.. Its about survival of the fittest!

Pheww.. Lets see.. Where will this take me.. I m just trying to be positive... :-)

God, no one understands better than you what I m into at this moment.. Please give me courage... I have my faith on you.. And take care of my people... Love you :-) muuaaah..