If Bollywood
can have a “Happy Sad Song”, I can also have “Happy Sad Post” :P
I know I
can’t just stop being filmy.
I usually try to ensure writing all positive posts but in
the end I am also human and when bad things happen... God save the world... no
matter how much I hide it... I go visibly mad... Yea! There is one difference I
can't be angry for too long.
So, when this year began my first target was to see snowfall
and second was to do Chadar trek which happens during January and February
every year.
All excited, I booked my tickets in December and paid good
amount for the trek. Now, I knew this is going to be in Leh which is at a
pretty good height I'll need stronger lungs and calf muscles... so, I started
running.
But... it was just first week of Jan and I caught throat
infection... Struggling with antibiotics I told myself 'All is going to be
super awesome'... Antibiotics failed on me and I caught fever... Changed meds
and finally... when I was recovering... I was under the strong influence of
cough and cold... Phew... Again a new mission started to beat the same to go
for my Chadar trek... It was a countdown for me... 10...9... 8... Days to go...
And finally it was 3 days to go... I was not getting any better but I was sure
to go.
In between all of this... I don’t know from where I
started having breathing issues... And I used to feel breathless while
sleeping, driving and walking... and I had to stop running for a whole month
when it was the most important. On consulting my intelligent doctor I was assured
by him that I am stressed and nothing else and because of stress only I was
facing difficulty in breathing. I was assured I was fine.
21st January, the D-day was here... The
day I was eagerly waiting for.. I had morning flight at 6.30 am to catch... super excited... I
got up at 3am...
Got ready and left... again I was feeling breathless while going to the airport...
I assured myself 'It's Stress'...
Aah.. Excitedly... I boarded my flight and in an hour
after boarding we were in Leh... What a brilliant sight from the sky it was...
Heaven on earth... I had a smile on my face all this while... :)
By 8.30am I was in
my hotel... And the group assembled... We had breakfast and short briefing
session for the trek which was next day...
It was -16 in Leh and I was living every bit of it... I
had my first coffee outside our hotel in chilled weather... Pure bliss...
Till I was in Delhi I used to dream of this... Every day
for a month prior to my trek.. I used to read about the weather predictions for
coming days in Leh and I was pretty sure I’ll experience snowfall... Day
dreaming of the snowfall I was sipping my coffee in -16 degrees...
Post that we relaxed till lunch... After lunch we decided
to go out and check out local markets... Every sight of it was just amazing...
I have no words to express the joy.
The girl I was sharing room with had to visit someone in Leh...
So, she asked me to accompany her... We met her friend and had nice cup of tea...
Ladakhi people are really nice and hospitable...
It was almost 5pm and we were
walking back towards our hotel... All of a sudden I started feeling deep pain
in my rib cage... It was there though for last few hours which I avoided in
excitement to roam around in Leh. The pain was growing and was unbearable... I quietly came to my room and slept thinking “I'll be okay”.
I got up at 8.30pm and pain
was still there... Not even a slight improvement... Anyhow I had light
dinner... Took medicine suggested by trek leader and decided to sleep.
10pm..11..12..am and I was helpless and breathless...
Unable to sleep I struggled for hours to breathe... For a moment I felt I am
dying... Unable to breath at all... I had no option but to call my trek
leader... It was 2am and I was feeling guilty for waking him
up...
He came and said the same thing 'You are stressed' and I
was wondering “God knows how come everyone is so sure about my stress levels”.
We went to hospital in emergency and doctor examined me...
He said I developed some Pulmonary Edema named syndrome which is fatal and it's
there since few days... So, the breathlessness I had in Delhi was not stress
exactly but this pulmonary issue.
Super! I told him I have a trek to do today... for which
he was quite rude in saying, “You can't do it”. As per the doctor, if this will
develop into HAPE which I googled later I can die within few hours..
Lying on hospital bed I checked what HAPE actually is...
High Altitude Pulmonary Edema... What an adventurous journey... I am sure I was
the only one this excited for the trek and I was not allowed to go on it.... And was in hospital... They gave me oxygen and some injection... I impatiently waited for morning.
In morning, my trek leader called my family saying I can't
do the trek and asked me to either stay in hospital or go back. I chose the
latter.
I boarded my flight to Delhi on 22nd morning... Cried my
heart out sitting in flight back. Super annoyed and irritated.
Landed back went to hospital and started with my treatment...
Of course, I had a huge fight with God.. I cried for
days... It was a terrible feeling.
I was being told by people to avail my leave which
were approved from office and relax at home... but, rebellious I am... If I am
not on Chadar let it be office! I
cancelled my leave and continued work.
For 4 days I was checking 'weather in leh/ladakh' on
Google every 2nd hour... Every time I used to get up at 2am or 4am, I used to
look for Leh weather... Knowing that it's snowing in Leh broke my heart multiple
times...
And no matter whatever people may say I know it's just not
okay. I fought with people.. I shouted like a wounded animal on them for no
good reason... It's truly annoying... And I will never understand 'WHY' for
this. I need no sympathy or kind words. I am cruel.
Anyhow, its 27th January and I am not feeling any better...
And this will take time to heal.
Dear God, I really hate you for this. And I don't want to
talk to you. Kindly be with my people and don’t talk to me! :(
Sharing few pictures I clicked on my phone-
A shot from my breakfast table
My new love interest!
Mountains
the river!
Golden Sunrise
Ladakhi Hospitality
