Love Me Like You Do!

Yeah, Calgary loves me equally. Our love is mutual.

When I landed here at the end of June, people used to say, 'Wait for the winters, and you’ll hate Calgary.' Now, in December, people are saying, for the first time in the history of Alberta, December is this warm. Of course, Calgary loves me. Global warming is a myth. :P

Most people from India move to Toronto in a quest for a better life, better opportunities, then live in suburbs and drive every day for hours for work. I don’t think I am meant for that kind of life. I lived it in India, and I was sure that's not how I want to spend my entire life.

I always wanted a small town, peaceful life. Had it been in India, I was sure to relocate to Rishikesh or Himachal after a few years, start my own small business in the mountains, and live a peaceful life away from the big city. A house with a backyard and a kitchen garden, close to the river and mountains. A morning walk in the hills with my coffee and ending my day with a beautiful sunset and a clear sky. It's still my plan, though.

Every time I thought of Canada, it was always Calgary. Much before I got my PR card. I never dreamt of a big city life with the chaos and stress.

Calgary is a perfectly beautiful small city, best of both worlds. People are warm and nice; you can reach anywhere within 20 mins if you have a car. There is a beautiful river in the city, and I can see mountains from my balcony. <3

The only thing I miss here is my family, and the only reason to go back for me will be my people.

Here, no one cares about where you are from, how much you earn, how fluent your English is, what you do for a living, how expensive your car is, or how big your house is or how many gadgets you own. All people care about is how you are doing, what are your hobbies, what music you like, or what you like to do in your free time. And I just love it; living here is like living a dream.

In college, I visited a small village in Himachal for my field trip known as “Junga”; it was a village where every marriage was a love marriage, and I call it the land of love. I thought I would someday go back there and live for a longer period of time. I think I can say the same about Calgary. I feel I live in a city of love, all I see around me is couples, families, and happily married people. I just love it; it makes me smile every time I see an old and happy couple. Something I always thought of as my life goal.

The other day I was sitting in a small Italian restaurant, and I saw an old couple in their 70s; they were celebrating the lady’s birthday with a small candle on the Tiramisu. I was feeling so happy for them that I had to control my tears. Oh God! I so badly wanted to cry! <3

I just love this city; it's like straight from a romantic novel. Novels I used to read and visualize where everything used to be like a beautiful dream. A place where I love sitting in small cozy family-owned coffee shops and sipping my coffee.

The other day I was having dinner with a friend; she was telling me about her dating adventures and then asked me why I'm not into dating apps or giving it a try, and I just didn't know what to say. I think it's difficult for people to understand how having an old soul feels. I just smiled and said it’s not for me, and she said, 'Are you one of those who thinks a charming prince will come and sweep you off your feet?' Well, the truth is, I used to be one of those but not anymore. I think I don’t care anymore. I am just happy being here, eating good food, living my life, reading books, and looking forward to what's next. I think in the last 3 years, for the first time, I feel like I am finding myself back, and I don’t want to lose it for anything. I think after many years I feel at peace.

Well, I think I can write a book on Calgary; it's just something else, and I am full of gratitude to be here.

Dear God, I know you are the best, and I am your favorite girl. Thank you for everything. I love you; please take good care of my people. Muuaah :))"

Driving Lessons in Calgary!

Well, I wanted to write a post on Calgary first, but that’s okay. My love for Calgary will pour out some other day. :P

Today was my 4th driving class, and honestly, with every class here, I feel like I don’t know how to drive. Driving in Calgary is not about learning to drive; it's all about unlearning what you know and following the rules, and that is something very difficult to understand for someone who only drove in Delhi for 12 years. Road rules? What are they? :P

It's crazy here; when I walk on roads, cars stop and wait. Like had it been Delhi, I would have injured myself on the road multiple times. People are respectful on the roads here; they stop their vehicles and wait for you to cross the road. Seriously, and every time, it was all good until I realized I will have to do the same while driving! :P

Jokes apart, it's not funny. Yesterday, while driving, the only song playing in the back of my head was “Saaiyaan” from the movie “Ta ra rum pum” (if you watch the song video on YouTube, you’ll know what I am talking about). And the scene flashing in front of my eyes was the one where Saif was unable to win the race and felt he couldn't do it. It was really scary for me. :P 

Well, they took my Indian driving license anyway, and I don’t have an Alberta one. I don’t have much of an option here, and of course, I would love to drive on these awesome roads. I wish without rules though, but I got to know that after a few mistakes, they cancel your license, and then you have to wait for 2 years or so before applying again. :((

Another funny thing was I asked my instructor if the car he was teaching was his own or the driving school’s car, and he said, “it's my car,” and I laughed out loud. And asked, “You have 2 brakes in your family car?” Haha, and he said, “yeah, this is required to be an instructor here.” Well, a moment of silence here. He also shared that he never taught his wife how to drive here because if you hit a person on the road, you’ll have to flee the country; your life is over in this part of the world! :P It was sad for me to hear for two reasons - why will his wife only hit somebody on the road, and the other was.. he was not confident in his teaching; how will I clear my test! :P

Anyhow, I have another lesson left, and I am already feeling so unprepared. The driving test is like an acting test here; just look behind your shoulder every now and then and check the rearview mirror every 8 seconds, or else you’ll automatically fail! Crazy but true, if I watch the mirror every now and then, how will I focus! :P

Hmm… Let's see what's next. I am hopeful.

Dear God, as always, you are needed. Please be there with me during my test and distract the examiner! Love you. :))

First day at work!

So, today was my first day at work in this country. I was all excited. Nowadays, I am feeling everything with a higher intensity. Maybe that's the thing with a broken heart; every emotion is just overflowing, leaving me vulnerable in every situation. If it's a happy emotion, it's ecstatic. Today, I was able to feel music after a very long time, and not just feel it, but I found myself floating in it. I read it somewhere; heartbreak gives a kind of superpower... Not sure though... Maybe whatever doesn't kill us makes us stronger!

I find it difficult to feel happy most days, but today was different. I was happy... I am happy, as if I am crawling back from the darkness. 

Anyway, today was good. I got up early and started prepping for my day. I had my coffee, got ready, and left for the train station. I boarded my train while listening to some really awesome music, and before I could wake up from the strong high I was feeling from the music, I was at my destination. I walked to the office, and a good day started.

It was my first day with my boss and colleagues, and I really liked it. In the afternoon, my boss took me for a welcome lunch, which was super cool. Oh yes, I enjoyed the food with the same crazy intensity. Something was totally different. I was a little scared today... I feel scared when I feel happy, scared of not feeling this way for long enough, scared of falling back into the darkness.

I came back home around 4 pm and wanted to linger on to this happy feeling for a little longer. I decided to go to the gym, which I again loved, followed by home-cooked kadhi chawal for dinner! :P

All in all, I am feeling really good right now. I am sure I won't be sleeping any sooner today, thanks to my excess caffeine intake, but yay, it was a good day. *touchwood*

I hate myself for being so much in love; I just want to be out of it. It's scary. I really wish to move ahead with my life.

I hate myself. Really.

Dear God, please, please, please help me!