Amnesiac Me!

I always wanted to have a poor memory... Not because I don't want to remember things.. But, I hate remembering everything which often leads to over thinking...

Lately, I have realized or rather observed I am losing my past from my brain... Or experiencing a different phase may be... I can't recall things easily from my memory and its not just memory I find it almost impossible to recollect what I did last week, month, yesterday or even in the morning... I forget about movies watched, places visited and people met... Forgetting faces and names is just very normal for me... May be this has helped me in maintaining a diary at workplace... ;-)

Its something like an initial stage of amnesia of 'Drew Barrymore' as shown in '50 first dates' :P

And that's not all... I even face attacks from my memories... Like all of sudden I feel about certain people or moments very strongly and emotionally and all of sudden in fraction of second I go blank... I am not sure whether its serious or not but I wanted to jot it down before I again forget what is happening.... :P

I really can't recall or feel the time when I started pearl and the feel is washed off... I can't feel many things but at the same time I feel certain things so bad that they hurt... And, I am not on any medication... Yes, I take my caffeine dose but that's under check...

At times, I go thinking about one thing for hours and in a second I forget it completely as if it never happened...

When I read my old posts.. I wonder... it's written by me... How's it possible... I mean I really thought all that.... That's really great work... :P but really... I mean its hard to believe...

I have changed mentally and emotionally although I am still weird emotionally but mentally I am total different human... I feel I dunno who I am... I keep searching myself.... And I dunno what all I jotted down... 

God, as usual I'll ask for the same thing which no amnesia can erase :P take care of my people and bless me with a poor memory... love you :)) :*

Mind your Own Business- Seriously! :P

a

Next month on 15th February, I’ll complete 5 years of my professional life... Yes, FIVE long years... ;-)

And... After devoting all these years to my work life... I sincerely believe college life was the best in terms of certain things... This nowhere means I am not enjoying my life now... Yes, I am truly in love with the life I am living... Financial independence, responsibility, having the freedom to speak up and manage my time and money as per my own convenience, having a social life without a stress of finishing assignments and so on... And being single along with all this is an icing on the cake.... ;-)

This phase of life is indeed one of the best that could have happened... But in all this there is something which was still the best in college...

I remember in my MBA batch we had people from across the country.... They all were quite diverse in terms of culture, language, persona but they were all accepted as friends and there was no judgement about them on the basis of appearance or anything... The only thing which actually counted was their talent and brain!

But, on the contrary, professional life is very different... I often hear people talking about others' dress up... Lifestyle... Food habits... And they rarely appreciate the talent, brains and the hard work... Seriously, sometimes I feel like asking them... is this the job they are getting paid for....? Or is this what they learnt all their life from their family & teachers... Where is that education?

Education teaches us equality, not discrimination!

In School,  I have learnt “Sangati ka asar” and trust me I don’t wanna opt for this mindset!

3 months back... while working as usually... I heard a dialogue...And it affected me deeply... It was-

Guy A (to Guy B &  Guy C)-  yaar, XYZ ke paas lagta hai ek hi pair hai shoes ka, do hafte se dekh raha hu wohi pehen ke aa jata hai...

Guy B- Silent

Guy C- Silent (giggling)

I mean, really? Why can’t people stand against wrong... listening to wrong statements and not taking your stand is equally bad.... it’s actually an encouragement to the one doing it...

And listening to this I really felt like telling him "dude, you need a life" is this what people are supposed to talk and do in office... We live in a country like India where many people don't get clothes to wear, food to eat and we can still manage to talk like this.... then crib about better government... What govt. will do when people are carrying such mindset... Where is the education, actually?

For me I know I am least bothered about what I wear, forget about others... And I believe that’s what I have learnt throughout my life... To respect people for what they are as a human being and not on their appearances....

You can't judge a person on a pair of shoes...  I am a kinda girl who may repeat a pair of shoes/denims for 2-3-4 months if I love it without touching 50 more I may have... How can we be judgmental about such stupid things... And believe me after listening to this... I respect the guy who can carry himself in same pair for dunno how long, but, I somehow lost respect for the guy judging it...

Whatever we say about others speak a lot about ourselves, so, when we point a finger on someone we should first look at ourselves...

Now, if I go back to my college days... this was something I never felt and in fact, if this would have happened in college I am very much sure no one would have supported such loose remark... That’s what education really means...

Well, I dunno... May be this is how most of the people are in offices... May be!

There were many other things I miss about college like fighting for lunch box, bunking, planning businesses etc. :P things but luckily for me that's not specific  to college only... I was blessed with such people afterwards as well... ;-)

Although, life is perfectly great in terms of everything but sometimes I wish I could change certain things which I believe should be changed....

Anyhow, thank you God for such a brilliant and beautiful life with of course lots of troubles :P.. I love you for being there... Take care of my people... Amen! :*

Wanderlust!

I belong to the seas & the mountains... the land... the sky... the water... the air.. the beautiful nature!

I feel I posses a wild soul which can't be tamed.... The pleasure I get by travelling can't be found in anything else... Not in food nor in shopping... And just to tell you I love food like anything...

Yes, I love my people the most but the peace and pleasure traveling gives me is something else as if m not born to settle down... I might someday feel like living in some serene place but i feel the static lifestyle is just not for me... And I just wanna wander... I wanna see the world... Climb those high peaks... Swim in the sea... See aquatic life... Jump from the airplane... Wander in the jungles of Africa... Feel the joy & thrill of Disneyland rides in California.... spend serene time on the islands of Bora Bora... Party hard in Hawaii.... And the list is endless....

Whenever I see a sunset in a new land it changes something in me and I fall little more in love with life... I love myself more when I travel solo... For I discover a side of me I was not aware of... A different me... A not so bad me... A not so mean me...

I feel I can't open up easily with people but when I m in mountains or in the sea.. I open up to the nature... I feel it with all my heart... I m expressive like its some different girl inside me.... It gives me true fulfillment... I love talking to the strangers living in that land... As if I know them since ages...

I don't know about the world but I sense that silence of nature deep within my soul... And that feeling is unmatched with any other feeling on this earth...

I sometimes wonder who am I... I need to know more of me... And travel helps me discover a side of me I really never knew was even there....

God, just be on my side and give me power to pursue my dreams...

And Take care of my people... I love you... Muuuaaah :-)